internet not always useful
With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends?
To what extend do you agree?
In the few past decades ago, online communicating methods were born to be the bridge to connect many people around the world just by one click or typing on the key board in front of the computer. This invention helps people to be easy on making new friends and talking together without any footprints from one place to another place. But actually, many people in this recently modern world are still alone and being harder to get into a real relationship, this essay will give some specific reasons why we have this trouble in the modern life.
Social network was born to help many people from the very far different distances can meet and talk together easily, what they just need to do is turn on the computer connecting with the Internet and sit there in front of the computer desk from day time to night time for talking and seeing each other through video call. This thing partly dispels the current loneliness, for instance, someone on their business trip so far from their home calling to their family members to solve their instant homesickness or a couple from different countries can talk and meet each other daily through the support of online tools. But it just can help them solve the temporary problem, as flesh and flood human, we all desire to reveal our love to our loved ones by kisses, or hugs ... those actions are only completed by touch from skin to skin. This brings many physical values as well as the scientific evidence.
With invention of the Internet, making new friends have been become the fastest and easiest action than ever before, we can send the friend request to someone new just by one click on the "friend request" button on Facebook or Writter interface, then, we and that stranger become friends, we thought that, is it really simple as we imagine? So it depends on the conception of friendship of every individual. However, in my view friendship means the strong bond between two or many specifics we have interaction, we give our friend a hand when catastrophe comes or we can share everything even our own secrets. Hence, the friendship are happening on the social network nowadays can be called virtual companionship.
All in all, we can not refuse all the amazing benefits which the internet brings for the recent society, but in some paticular aspects the internet could not be useful as well as it have ever been.
This invention helped
The last sentence of the intro needs to divide into 2 separate ones
Just needed to do
Faster and easier than ever not the fastest and easiest
I suggest that you should replace we into people to be more academic
Hello there! Welcome back to the forum. I hope you find this feedback beneficial for your long-term learning.
First and foremost, I would recommend trying to change the tone of language of your essay. For instance, the first paragraph appears to be rather informal. It would be nicer to have more dynamism with a straightforward approach. If you do this, you'll be able to focus more on curating content with ease.
Furthermore, ensure that you have a structured approach to writing. Try to organize your thoughts with more of a logical sequencing than anything else.
Evade the usage of descriptive terms when you're trying to establish formal lines. Remember to bear this in mind.
Best of luck as always.
@Cay nho @Maria
thanks for your supporting
Hello, I also have some feedbacks for your writing.
- "Social network was born to help ..." is wrong grammatically. It might become" social network helps ....distances meet...easily".
- " turn on...video call" becomes " to turn on...video call".
- " calling to.." should become " call or can call".
- "flesh and flood human" makes no sense in this case.
- Between" for instance" should be placed between semicolon and comma.
- " This brings many physical values as ..." is fairly confusing. I actually don't get it.
-" making friends has been.."
- " Then" should be between" ;" and",".
- "catastrophe" is not suitable in this case; instead, you can use "difficulty" or something like that.
- The third paragraph is pretty confusing.
* In sum, You should review your grammar, punctuation usage in coordinators and subordinators such as however, or...
Actually, this correction just based on my opinion might make some mistakes.
I hope that you find it useful for your writing.