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The development of West Park secondary school since its contraction in 1950


Trisulastri 27 / 18 4  
Mar 23, 2016   #1
The diagrams show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its contraction in 1950
The alterations of West Park Secondary School development in three different stages of its development are illustrated in the diagrams. Overall, the most noticeable change is the establishment of parking area which was getting larger significantly, while the main building of the school was still in similar positions over six decades.

In 1950, residential area was built next to the main road and close to the school, and the area right behind of these buildings was farmland and playground respectively. In 1980, this housing area had been demolished in order to make two new areas which became car park and science block. Furthermore, the entire area of farmland converted into a sports center.

In 2010, the main building of schools and science block remained unchanged, while parking areas was extended to cover all of sports field. As a result, the size of both playground and sports field had decreased since the sport center took over some playground areas.




aviniwirastri [Contributor] 10 / 35 11  
Mar 23, 2016   #2
Furthermore, the entire area of farmland convertedis into a sports center.

while parking areas was extended to cover all of sports field

some of playground areas .

overall, it is representative with what the diagram wants.
it is nice..
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Mar 23, 2016   #3
Hi Tri, as I go over your analysis, what I liked about it is the variety of words you, adjectives and verbs that you have used in the essay, most of the analysis I read are focused on the diagram in itself and this turns out into a very flat essay. The contents of the essay is written in a way that is depicted in the diagram.

Now, as much as I want you to still polish the analysis and if you do so, mind the sudden conclusion or overall analysis straight from the beginning of the essay, as a summary or conclusion should be written in the end of the essay.

As mentioned, the analysis is written well and I hope you continue on exercising the same perseverance towards mastering the English language.
You have been writing pretty good essays over the past few months and I hope to read more of your essays here in EF.


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