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Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems.

vuthiquynhchi 1 / -  
Jan 13, 2018   #1

Technology and Environmental Policy

Some are in favor of the view that solving environmental issues people should make simple life. By contrast, others disagree with this idea and believe that developing technology makes contribution on dealing with environment difficulties. This essay is going to discuss both views and clarify that the advantages of both opinions.

To begin, there are some benefits when people live simple lives and independent on technology. Instead of using car go to the office we should walk or ride cycle every day. The current number of cars used is increasing, which causes the pollution air and climate change by exhaust fumes. In addition, it is time for individual should reduce consumption of electricity so that restricting exploits of the natural environment. For example, we can join light-off events annual or Earth hours.

On the other hand, the advent of technology also make contribution to protect environment. Technology is able to recycle materials such as: glass, paper ... so we can deal with a large of number of toxic wastes. Besides we create renewable resources environmentally friendly, it allowed people to have a good environment life. As a result, people cope to man-made disaster such natural disaster, loss of habitat to lead being under threat.

In conclusion, while people think that they should live simple life to improve environment. In my opinion, a good environment benefit from technology development if we apply technology wisely

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,896 1718  
Jan 13, 2018   #2
Quynh, this essay will get an automatic failing score because you did not meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words. That is one full page or 5 paragraphs composed of 5 sentences each. Truth be told, since I saw that your word count was under the minimum, I thought that I should not follow through in additional advice for your essay anymore. However, that would be a disservice to you so I should at least point out what the problems with the essay are and how you can improve it.

Unfortunately, you did not provide me with a copy of the original prompt that you are responding to so I cannot be sure if you have actually written an essay that aligns itself with the prompt expectations and requirements. So I will just give you advice based on the problems that I see in the essay.

You have a tendency to just keep on giving multiple reasons per paragraph in your essay, without really explaining or building upon the facts you have presented. As a standard rule, you should only present one reason per paragraph in order to give you a chance to clearly explain your reason and offer acceptable supporting examples for it. With only 5 sentences per paragraph, you really don't have enough room to fully explain all the reasons you present in one paragraph. That is why you were given 3 evidentiary discussion paragraphs. That is the purpose of the body of paragraphs, to present evidence of the discussions you are instructed to present. However, multiple presentations come across as confusing to the reader. So one reason per paragraph is the most acceptable format for the essay presentation.

You made the mistake of using your opinion as the closing paragraph of this essay. That will result in a major loss of points for you because the essay should close with a summary of the discussion, not a personal opinion. the summarized discussion helps to close the essay because it wraps up the discussion in a manner that reiterates your personal point of view in the essay.

I feel like something is off in your discussion though. Normally, a discussion of the advantage and disadvantages does not include a personal opinion. I wish I had the original prompt by which to judge your work by. Please don't forget to upload the original prompt with your next essay. That is, should you decide to seek more advice from us at this forum.
KhushbooVohra 8 / 18 3  
Jan 14, 2018   #3
... advent of technology also make contribution contributes to protecting the environment.

... should live a simple life to improve the environment. ... environment benefits from ... wisely.

Instead of usinga car go to the office ... or ride a cycle every day. ... which causes the pollution air pollution and climate ... time for an individual ...

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