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The diagram demonstrates some proposed changes of the centre of a small town which named Islip


vannam318 1 / 1  
May 30, 2020   #1

Development of the Islip town



The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its develop

The diagram demonstrates some proposed changes of the centre of a small town which named Islip.
Overall, several infrastructures will be constructed with the covering by round road. Otherwise, these developments will regard to shops and housing.
At present, the main road of the Islip centre run through from East to West but the second map shows that the main road will be transformed to route for pedestrians. Last but not least, the road will have some differences in structure, two-lane way will be considered in plan as well as its ring forming cover around the centre.

The shops which located at the north side of the road will no longer exist because of the appearances of bus station, shopping centre and a car park. New housing will be set up at two locations which are in the east of car park and to the west of the park. Education institution still unchangeable during the development.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449  
May 30, 2020   #2
You have to remember that the task 1 reporting essay requires you to present the information over a total of 3 complete paragraphs. You only presented 2 paragraphs here so you should have done a better job at reviewing the drawing. By the way, this is not a diagram, this is an illustrative drawing. If you prefer to call it an illustrative diagram then that is also acceptable. Specific image information is required as there are several image types used in this task.

This following sentence is unclear: Overall, several infrastructures will be constructed with the covering by round road. Perhaps you meant to say: The changes to the building locations and road traffic will be changed. All the changes followed a circular format. Your previous sentence was unclear. My presentation had more clarity to the explanation.

Grammar correction:
run through- runs through
route for pedestrians - pedestrian route

You need to be more descriptive in your presentation. Explain what areas were changed, what sections were removed or moved in one paragraph. In the next paragraph, explain what replaced the sections that were removed and what new changes can be seen in the image. Your report suffers from a lack of clarity in the presentation more than anything else. It will easily be resolved by your being more analytical and explicit in your explanations next time.


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