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IELTS task 1 The diagram illustrates the change of food consumption in China in quarter century


arisandy14 7 / 11 1  
Sep 13, 2016   #1
The diagram illustrates the change of food consumption in China in quarter century.

In the first year, fish was the most popular with consumption of 600 grams per-person per-week. Then, the statistic went up 100 before slumping in the same position from the first year in 1995. The following years, there was an upward trend tremendously until 2010.

The figure for salt experienced the plunge considerably. In 1988, It was approximately begun about 420 grams per-person per-week and consistently decreased until 200 grams in 2010. In contrast, it was totally different from meat consumption undergoing the growth gradually. This surge was started 100 grams per-person per week and markedly rose until it had the same point with which was reached by the salt consumption in 2010.

In conclusion, even though fish consumption encountered the significant rise, it ever underwent the fluctuation happening in 1995. In contrast, salt consumption instead experienced the fall from beginning to the end year.




DmitryB 3 / 3  
Sep 14, 2016   #2
Hi, arisandy14! There are some suggestion for you.

In the very begging, introduce the summary using your own words as far as possible.
Next, one approach is to summarise the main trend in one paragraph, the describe this in more detail in the next.
Finally, the overview gives an overall picture of the information. It often comes at the end and forms the final paragraph.

I hope it may be helpful!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,198 464  
Sep 15, 2016   #3
In conclusion, even though fish ...

You have to write no conclusion in task 1. Otherwise, you score hovers 5 or below. Your task is to write an overview extracted from the main trends of the data.

The diagram illustrates the change of food consumption ...

You failed to present an appropriate opening paragraph. What you have to do is write at least 3 sentences in a paragraph.

It was approximately begun

it virtually hovered ...

In contrast, it was totally different from meat consumption

This contrasts to meat consumption

Obviously, you could write, but this needs more rooms for improvement. I suggest reading sample answers as many as you can. This helps you improve your vocabularies, grammar, grouping skills and ideas related IELTS writing task 1. Hope this helps :D
VK WSSH 8 / 8  
Sep 15, 2016   #4
Hi arisandy14,

Can I offer you a little suggestion
" fish was the most popular (what popular?) with consumption of ..."

You can add "food" or "meal" to complete your sentence to make it clear.


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