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The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing chocolate


vudao 1 / -  
Jun 5, 2021   #1

report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant



The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing chocolate. Overall, there are a total of 10 stages and this is a man-made process. Beginning with the growing of the pods on the cacao tree in S.America, Africa, Indonesia to pressing inner part of the beans resulting in liquid chocolate.

Firstly, the process commences when the ripe cocoa beans after growing in regions with a tropical climate, which harvested on cacao tree. Upon being harvested, the pods have their skin removed so that the white cacao can be collected. The beans are thereafter fermented then they are dehydrated by being the spread under the sunshine and packaged in large sacks.

The process continues when these sacks are delivered by train or lorry to the factory. In the factory, the beans undergo a roasting stage. Following that they are sent to a machine for classifying, the beans crushed and the outer shell is taken away. Finally, the part to be crushed goes through a press with two roller to produce liquid chocolate.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,933 3567  
Jun 6, 2021   #2
stages and this is a man-made process

Use the word "man made" in reference to its noun form for grammar accuracy. Indicate "in this man..." instead rather than the connecting word "and" to create sentence clarity.

on the cacao tree in S.America, Africa, Indonesia

For clarity and information separation indicate these as " ... ' cacao trees from the countries of..."

Indonesia to

missing a comma to indicate information separation.

in regions with a tropical climate

Added information not found in the procedure. This is unnecessary and will not increase your score.

Following that they are sent to a machine for classifying,

Invalid information. This illustration is not found in the drawing. These types of errors will affect your TA score.

Your main errors relate to GRA and task accuracy presentations. You have a tendency to make up information along the way. While you may think you are filling in the blanks, the reality is, your score will be based on actual provided information. Any inserted information will be seen as misleading the reader and will lower your TA and C + C score.


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