Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Diagram shows that the percentage of people aged 65 and more is predicted to increase


hasdymath 11 / 25  
Nov 25, 2015   #1
A breakdown of the proportion of elderly people from 1940 to 2040 as a forecast year, a 100-period year is presented in the line chart. The data is carried out from USA, Sweden, and Japan.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the percentage of people aged 65 and more is predicted to increase. In any case, although figure the number of people aged 65 or more in Japan experienced the lowest one in the first year, this figure is overseen to surpass and becomes the greatest one.

To begin, there was a huge changes between the first and the last view year. 1940 showed that all of the figure stood at just under 10%, which Japan societies was the least. On the other hand, all of the levels increased significantly and showed a reserve. The percentage of USA inhabitants witnessed the lowest one at approximately 23%, while figure for Japan reached a high of virtually 27%. the level of more-or-65-aged-Sweden population was between them.

Next, there was were an increasing and surpassing in the middle year. From 1960 to 2020, both the ageing population in USA and Sweden mounted slightly but fluctuated, while the level of Japan fell gradually but surpassed the other ones in 2030.




vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 26, 2015   #2
Hi hasdi :-) I would like to offer some corrections to your report. By the way, your introductory paragraph which is supposed to contain your report overview does not follow the IELTS standard of at least 3 sentences per paragraph. So you need to add another line to that in order to make it more adherent to the test requirements. I'll offer you a sample of how to do that below.

A breakdown of the proportion of elderly people OVER A 100 YEAR PERIOD, from 1940 to 2040 CAN BE SEEN IN THE LINE CHART. THE FORECAST IS FOR THE COUNTRIES OF THE USA, SWEDEN AND JAPAN. THIS REPORT WILL PRESENT THE DATA INDICATED IN THE CHART. as a forecast year, a 100-period year is presented in the line chart. The data is carried out from USA, Sweden, and Japan.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the percentage of people aged 65 and more ABOVE is predicted to increase. In any case, although figure the number of people aged 65 or more in Japan experienced the lowest one in the first year, this figure is overseen to surpass and becomes the greatest one. (YOU NEED TO COMPLETE THIS PARAGRAPH BY PRESENTING THE ACTUAL NUMBERS AS MENTIONED INT HE CHART)

To begin, there was a huge changes between the first and the last view year. 1940 showed that all of the figure stood at just under 10%, OF which JapanESE societies WERE was the least. On the other hand, all of the levels increased significantly and showed a reserve (RESERVE WHAT?). The percentage of USA inhabitants ELDERLY witnessed the lowest one INCREASE at approximately 23%, while THE figure for Japan reached a high of virtually 27%. WITH the level of more-or -65-OR MORE-aged-Sweden SWEDISH population was between them.

Next, there was were an increasing E and surpassing in the middle year. From 1960 to 2020, both the age ing population in THE USA and Sweden mounted slightly but fluctuated, while the level of Japan fell gradually but surpassed IS EXPECTED TO SURPASS THE the other ones TWO COUNTRIES in 2030.


Home / Writing Feedback / Diagram shows that the percentage of people aged 65 and more is predicted to increase