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Ielts - The Diagram shows the process of using water to produce electricity.


zarab 1 / -  
Aug 24, 2013   #1
The energy from the sun heats the earths surface. The heated water turns into vapour in a process labelled as evaporation in the diagram. Water vapour accumulates to form clouds. When the concentration of water vapour increases the density of the clouds it becomes heavy which results in rain.

The water from the rainfall is collected in huge reservoirs. Theses reservoirs are able to hold back huge amounts of water by constructing strong barriers called dams. Water from the reservoirs is directed to the turbines to generate electricity. The flow of water is controlled by strong valves. The water from the turbines is recycled and pumped back into the reservoirs. The electricity produced in these turbines is supplied to transformer stations through high voltage cables. This electricity is evenly distributed to houses, factories, schools and hospitals via underground cables.

sharman 2 / 3  
Aug 25, 2013   #2
Firstly you need to use minimum 150 words and your essay has only 139 words.
Please rephrase some of your sentences to make them grammatically correct.

turns into vapour in a process labelled as

turns into vapour and this process is labelled as

When the concentration of water vapour increases the density of the clouds it becomes heavy which results in rain

water vapour increases, the cloud's density also increases making them heavy, causing it to burst in rain

able to hold back huge amounts of water by constructing strong barriers called dams

hold back huge amounts of water because of construction of strong barriers called dams.. reprashae the above sentence also.

Also try to give a overall conclusion for the above topic. Dont end it abruptly like above just give it a smooth ending like, thus from the above diagrmas we can see that ...

something like that

best,
sharman
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 11, 2013   #3
Where is the diagram? You can upload the diagram using "Attach file (s)" feature . It is good to attach diagrams that helps us provide more relevant feedbacks for you. Also, you need to past all your IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 12, 2013   #4
In this kind of task, you should write an introduction to state what the diagram illustrate. Then you should provide an overview to describe its main trends.


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