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Diagrams illustrate how an island developed during some period of time

thanhtra22 1 / 1  
Jul 16, 2019   #1


Hello, I am starting to practise IELTS test in Cambridge book. I wrote this essay. I hope to give feedback from you guys to be able to improve my writing. Thanks a lots!

" The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures, and make comparisons where relevant"

These diagrams illustrate how an island developed during the period. In general, there were dramatic changes in this area.

In the first map, it can be seen that it was a pristine island with some palm trees dotted around and is surrounded by sea. There also was a beach to the west of the island.

To turn to the second map, the island was totally transformed with the addition of facilities. There has been 6 buildings with footpaths which have been constructed on the west and 9 buildings have been in the center of the island. Between two accommodation areas are a reception and a restaurant with vehicle tracks. However, the easten part of the island has been remained undeveloped.

In addition, the coast of the island has considerably changed. To the south, a pier has been erected with yachts travelling around the resort. The beach in the west of island has been added a swimming area for tourists.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,047 372  
Jul 16, 2019   #2
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback that I hope will be somewhat beneficial for your writing.

I suggest simplifying first and foremost your descriptions. By doing this, you are making more space for in-depth analysis and content that's interpretative as opposed to merely descriptive. Doing this will also help you have more meaning to your text.

Try to also be cautious of the tone of your language and its formality, especially when you're making transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Always try to strike a balance when you're writing.

Remember that this is an academic text, therefore it warrants a particular level of writing.

Best of luck.

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