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IELTS 1; DIAGRAMS; Island before and after construction


Shpr 1 / -  
Nov 1, 2013   #1
The graph contains some information about a transformation an empty land into the recreation area. The island experienced significant changes and turned into a modern tourist resort.

Before the construction there was an empty space surrounded by sea with a beach and only a few palms on the island.

Firstly, reception building appeared at the center of the area. It was connected with the seaside restaurant by a vehicle track. At the both sides of the reception over ten bungalows were built up forming two circles. It is noticeable that no trees were cut down due to construct, thus even the circle of houses on the left of the reception contained inside the palms which grew up before the building. The road was laid from the administrative facility to the newly constructed pier with the sailing yachts for rent.

At last, only two parts of the island remained invariable, namely the beach with a swimming area where people would go by footpath and the forest at the opposite side.



Traveler 6 / 14 2  
Nov 1, 2013   #2
Hi, here are my suggestions.

The graph contains

The maps(diagrams) illustrate

about a transformation an empty land into the recreation area

about the development of an island into a tourist attraction.

I suggest you to reorganize the paragraphs following this structure: 1-Introduction 2-overview 3-details 4-details. According to this scheme the sentence

The island experienced significant changes and turned into a modern tourist resort.

is part of the overview paragraph along with

Before the construction there was an empty space surrounded by sea with a beach and only a few palms on the island.

Hope it helps
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Nov 1, 2013   #3
The graphdiagram contains some information about a transformation of an empty land into the recreation area

... don't use the word "some" here. You need to introduce the graph at this point and your introduction should not be vague. May be you don't have that particular information, but try and reduce the ambiguity in the introductory sentence. Also, this is not a graph, but a diagram. When you have pictures, use the word "diagram"

The diagram illustrates the transformation of a bare island into a touristic island.


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