Please work on creating more understandable sentences for your essays. In this particular essay, you truly have a problem in presenting your thought ideas in sentence form. The sentence structures are problem filled because of your inability to form coherent sentence ideas. This is most specially true for the summary overview. Your summary of the images are going to force a failed GRA score due to the confusion your statement has created.
it costs a fortune
While this is an English phrase and it was used properly in the context of the presentation, it is not an academic form of reference to the expense of construction. Never forget that you are writing an academic paper so you cannot use non-academic words and phrases in the presentation. Such references are better used in creative writing presentations.
You are also mostly just mimicking the illustration points rather than trying to present these in your own words. These will cause deductions as you are showing an inability to restate the image clue/ keywords. Since these are direct cut and paste presentations, you will lose task points in the relevant sections.
You do not show any improvement over the course of your essay writing. This being the 3rd essay you are seeking advice on, I am starting to wonder if you are even listening to the advice that I am giving you at this point. Maybe you do not care for the advice I provide? If so, then consider this the last piece of advice you will receive from me.