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Task 1: Differences coal consumption among four sector in UK from 1975 to 2000


Mimi07 9 / 15 2  
Apr 15, 2016   #1
Coal consumption divided into four sectors in UK between 1975 and 2000 can be seen in the table. Units are measured in millions tonnes. It is important to note that figure for coal consumption showed downward trend for all the sectors. In contrast, services was very low coal consumption among others.

During 25 years, the was a dramatic fall in the coal consumption. However, power stations broke the record as the highest coal consumption, at 89,6 millions tonnes among others . Domestic and industri were fairly similar coal usage over the period. In the early term presented domestic the second most coal consumption but in 2000 showed industry (3,2 millions tonnes) was higher coal consumption then domestic.

In contrast, services until the end period described the lowest coal consumption. There witnessed a sharp fall in the number of coal consumption over the period. In 2000 number for coal consumption is only 0,6 millions tonnes. Finally, all of coal consumption for four sectors in 2000 showed nearly a half from 1975.



Hadiyati Fudla 9 / 14 3  
Apr 15, 2016   #2
Hi Mimi! Here are my thoughts regarding your essay:

1. Your second and third paragraph are informative well-organized. You use varied sentence in it.

2. My alternative for your inductory paragraph:
" A breakdown of the million tonnes of coal consumption by four sectors the Britain between 1975 and 2000, a 25-year period is hightlighted in the table. It is important to note that figure for coal consumption showed downward trend for all the sectors. In contrast, services was very low coal consumption among others."
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 15, 2016   #3
Hi Mimi, WELCOME to this very reliable source of writing reference, Essay Forum, I hope you find our suggestions, criticisms as well as ideas to be valuable in coming up with an even better essay and in this case, an analysis.

Please find additional help below;

- Coal consumption is divided
-into four sectors in UK the between
- 2000 and it can be seen in the table.
- that the figure for
- In contrastOn the contrary ( contrast - color / contrary - idea ) ,
- services was veryvary from low

- DuringOver 25 years,
- there was a dramatic
- Domestic and industri( I'm not sure what do you mean by this, the idea doesn't seem to add up )
- were fairly similar to coal usage
- washad a higher coal
- consumption tha n domestic.

There you have it Mimi, I tool the first 2 paragraphs, I am hoping that you would follow through with the corrections and as you can see, there's quiet a change in your essay, I hope they are useful in the revision.
Maya29 14 / 18 14  
Apr 15, 2016   #4
Hi Mimi, please allow me to give you some suggestions:

the was a dramatic (There was a dramatic)

at 89,6 millions tonnes(89.6 .Please remember to use full-stop mark instead of comma when writing decimal)

Domestic and industri were fairly similar coal usage over the period . (This sentence is confusing. You can write: The coal usage for domestic and industry needs were fairly similar over the period)

In 2000, number (Remind the punctuations. I also have some mistakes on this thing)

You have had a good point of view. I hope my suggestions are useful for you.


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