The charts show the information of average of water consumption in the world compared to two countries;San Diego and California .These figures are compared to three different category places as Residental,Industry and Agriculture.As overall trend,the two countries showed different water consumption from the worldwide average.While processed the water consumption still had largest in residental of San Diego after agriculture .In San Diego ,the highest of water consumption was in Residential between California and Worldwide,acounted 60% from 39% and even ,merely 8%
In california,the highest of the water consumption was in Residential which is as same as in San Diego,which was followed by industry 33% and agriculture 28%.
In the same industry,the amounts of water consumption was in San Diego and Worlwide ,accounted 23% and even ,in Calivornia bosted from 23% to 33% significantly.
Based on the data ,the lowest of water consumption among the different countries and majorities were in Residential.
Hi, bismillah
Your essay is good, but I would give you some corrections
1. ... different category places as Residental (Residential ), Industry and Agriculture.
2. As overall (an overall ) trend, the two countries showed ...
3. ... still had largest in residental (Residential ) of San Diego after agriculture
4. ... the amounts of water consumption was (were ) in San Diego and Worlwide (Wolrdwide )
5. accounted 23% and even, in Calivornia (California ) bosted from 23% ...
Thank you
Hello, Here my inputs for your writing
As overall trendmaybe you can change these words to Overall, it can be clearly seen that..., the two countries showedyou did not put any year, better you use simple present different water consumption ... and better if you can add details for example what county and sector spent most water
Good luck!
... consumption in the world compared towith two countries;San ...
... compared to three different regionscategoryplacesas Residential, Industry and Agriculture.
... water consumption still hadlargest in residential of San Diego after agriculture.
... was in Residential between California and Worldwide,accounted 60% from 39% and even ,merely 8%.
Hi Syukron, below are my thoughts on your essay.
- The charts show the information ofon average
- of water consumption in the world
- category places ascategories,
Spell check
Residental - residential
acounted - accounted
* Country names such as California should be written ...
- As an overall trend,
- While processed theProcessed water
- consumption still had the largest in
- residenti al consumption inof San Diego after agriculture .
- Based on the data ,the lowest of water consumption among the different countries and majorities were infrom Residential areas .
There you have it Syukron, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and should you have any clarifications and need additional guidance, do let us know and we will be here for you.
