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ielts: different causes of car accidents and some solutions


ieltswriter 3 / 6  
May 25, 2014   #1
It is common today that road accidents has become one the most signifcant factors leading to death of many people.
This essay will elaborate the role of careless drivers, non-resilient veichles and roads conditions in increasing lethal car accidents as well as propose some solutions to cure this human-made catastrophe.

Firstly, most car crashs are caused by careless drivers. respecting driving rules and regulation considrably insure that no accident occur. for example drivers especially those who are unexprienced or uneducated, dont pay enough attention to driving signs, police's command and maximum speed in day and night. this carelessness has been seen in many deadful accidents which is rampant among many drivers.

Secondly, some cars are more vulnerble than others.Most produced goods are made of low-quality materials in order that finished cost of factories would remain at lowest level. However, theses veichles arenot much resilient against huge pressure created in accidents and failed to keep it's owner safe from the danger of death.

Thirdly, physical specifications of roads play an important role. road wide isnot comaptible with traffic volume, as latter increases daily, while widening routes and streets needs huge sume of investment.Besides, winding roads still exists which limits vision range of drivers especially when they drive fast. Moroever, high slopes in mounatainous regions would make it hard to control cars easily.

In conclusion, several factors cause deadful car accidents which can be addresed, careless drivers should be punished and their liscence suspended for long term, producing low-quality veichles should be limited and more budget allocated to road buliding and removing dangeous points.

candy07 9 / 33 6  
May 25, 2014   #2
Hi
-This essay has good ideas .
-Why did you not capitalise alphabets after full stop .
-Structure needs refinement
-You have written three paragraphs about causes of car accidents and in conclusion you have written solutions
-In my opinion you should dedicate one or two paragraphs to causes and one paragraph to solutions and conclusion written separately .There should be no new ideas in conclusion

- I will try to write a model essay for this topic very soon
Hope you find this helpful
Thanks
Dinhlan 2 / 2 1  
May 25, 2014   #3
I think you need follow the writting structure : Introduction > Body Paragraphs, which contain your views and example related > and Conclusion.
* some cars are more vulnera ble than others.
*Most of produced goods are made of low-quality materials in order that to finished cost of factories would remain factoriey cost at lowest level.
* thesesveichles vehicles are not much resilenit sustainable against huge pressure created in accidents and failed to keep it's the owner inside safe when accidents take place.
candy07 9 / 33 6  
May 27, 2014   #4
Hi
As per our discussion previously , I have written a model answer for this essay . I hope this helps

Road side accidents are among the major causes of mortality all over the world. This is an alarming issue as many people lose their lives at a very young age due to motor vehicle accidents. It is believed that inexperienced drivers and intoxication while driving are two major causes of road accidents. Solutions such as careful licensing of drivers and strict measures to reduce drunk driving will be analysed for viability.

First of all it is considered that the major cause of road accidents is young and untrained drivers driving the vehicle . Many adolescents start driving without proper training and at a young age. For example, in countries such as India there are no defined driving tests for acquiring driving license . Further , there is no lower age limit defined for driving . However , in countries like Australia , there are very strict driving tests required for licensing and children can not drive before the age of eighteen . Statistically, it is confirmed that the number of road accidents occurring in Australia is 40 % less than in India. Thus proper licensing of individuals appears as a promising solution to this problem.

Secondly, it is believed that the main cause of traffic accidents is drunk driving. Many people drive vehicles under the influence of alcohol , leading to loss over their motor control and road accidents . For instance , a research was carried out at a hospital in New York , U.S.A. and it was observed that more than 60% cases of automobile accidents were reported on Friday and Saturday evenings. Moreover, alcohol was detected in blood samples of almost 80% of drivers. Therefore it is recommended that heavy penalties should be applied to drivers who are drunk . Governments should also implement strict rules such as breath alcohol concentration tests to prevent motor vehicle accidents.

To conclude , it can be said that road accidents are a preventable cause of death and if governments implement strict rules, this catastrophe can be avoided. It is hoped that governments as well as society will behave more responsibly so that millions of young lives may be saved.
candy07 9 / 33 6  
May 27, 2014   #5
Feel free to give comments and tell if any corrections are required
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 29, 2014   #6
It is common today that road accidents has become one the most signifcansignificant factors leading to death of many people.
This essay will elaborate the role of careless drivers, non-resilient veichlesvehicles and roads conditions in increasing lethal car accidents as well as propose some solutions to cure this human-made catastrophe.

Why do you have the lines separated here. I guess this is your introduction and if so, there is no reason for you to separate the first sentence from the rest. Also, you need to be very careful with spelling too :)

I suggest you to have these features in your introduction - Have a hook statement to open your essay that can grab the reader's attention. Your hook should be interesting, relevant and meaningful. Then introduce the background of the issue to the reader. You can simply paraphrase the prompt for this purpose. Then state your opinion on the issue and conclude your intro :)


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