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5 different kinds of communication service which were used by people over 6 years

dotuananh2001 1 / -  
Dec 3, 2017   #1

popularity of some communications forms

the line graph illustrate 5 different kinds of communication service which were used by people over 6 years.
it is clear that online internet and cell phone were 2 most popular services to contact.in 1998, the number of people who used internet and cellular phone services started at around 5 per 100 inhabitants.But, both of them went up together in the remaining years.Especially, cell phone communication soared dramatically to 60 users. it was three times as much as of that internet communication.

Landline services had a stable number of people who used that way from 15 to 18 per inhabitants over the period.Meanwhile, the others communication are mobile and fixed which were just introduced in the latter half of the graph . so , they just grew slowly at around 5 out of 100 people from 2002-2008.

overall , there were many services to communicate.But , cellular phones were the most well-known way

The line graph shows the number of people who used different communication services in the world.

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,896 1718  
Dec 3, 2017   #2
@dotuananh2001, you forgot to include the image that your analytical essay is supposed to be based on. I cannot really judge your work without it in terms of accuracy and relevance. I would however like to point out that your essay is grammatically inaccurate in terms of sentence structure since you are writing with a disregard for the English writing rule that indicates all words after a period or a word that starts a sentence must be capitalized. While some people will tell you that capitalization does not matter in the test, the reality of the scoring situation is that you are being scored specifically on grammar accuracy so yes, in this case, you should capitalize your first word letters. You also wrote continuously long sentences that turn into severe run-on sentences. It would be beneficial to you if you can learn to write interconnected individual sentences per paragraph instead. Additionally, you tend to start your sentences with connecting words such as "But", which means you really are not even trying to implement proper writing rules in your essay. This is not a good essay presentation at all, and that is even without the illustration to base your essay on. Your essay will suffer a tremendously low score in the GRA sections as you misuse the punctuation marks throughout the essay. Don't expect to get a passing score with this essay. It has way too many problems to get a passing consideration.

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