Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


sobin 12 / 24  
May 15, 2011   #1
Hi friends,i've been trying ielts since 2008 to achieve band7 in each modules.Please evaluate my essay. give feedback and corrections..thanks for your patience and time..

p.s:I'm sorry that i couldn't upload the diagram for task 1
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- ------------------------------------------------------------
The diagram shows the result of a survey of a sample of 1,000 people on the different sources of noise which cause nuisance.The severity of the nuisance measured on a scale running from 'not annoying to extremely annoying'.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

A:-The diagram indicates the results of a survey about different sources of noises which cause nuisance.The results are the sum up of answers given by around 1000 people.The graph uses pictures of different sources of noises to indicate the severity of different sources create.They use pictures of piano,music player,musical notes,wireless telephone,tools,a barking dog,aeroplane,train and a television to indicate the source of noise.Apart from this,they measure the nuisance on a scale running from not annoying to extremely annoying.

In general, the graph depicts that the noise from a barking dog is worse than anything else.Most of the people are annoyed because of the barking dog.Meanwhile, they are not annoyed with the noises created by train,piano and television.Moreover,nuisance made by the noise of train is lesser than the nuisance created by other two.Noises coming from both tools and wireless telephone are fairly annoying.However,severity of noise created by both wireless telephone and tools are higher than the fairly annoying noises from musical player,aeroplane and music.

In a nutshell,the diagram reveals the clear information about the sound pollution that we suffer in the modern world.It gives the warning about the severity of nuisance created by noises in the societies in the future.

----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- ------------------------------------------------------------
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
As populations grow and cities become more crowded,there is pressure throughout the world to construct ever tall buildings to provide accommodation and offices.Many people object to such developments,citing the social as well as physical dangers.

-what benefits do sky scrapers bring?
-Do you agree with the objections to sky scrapers?
A:-Modern world always consider the number of and height of the sky scrapers as one of the criteria to assess the development of one city or country.A developing city needs skyscrapers to accommodate its people.Nonetheless,it needs to provide space for offices of various companies.In other hand,living in sky scrapers are not easy as we think.

In general,skyscraper provide space for offices and accommodation for large number of people.Apart from this,it helps the authority too organize limited land for various purposes.Moreover,skyscrapers are the symbol of development in the world.Tall buildings always create tourist attractions.For instance,one of the famous sky scraper in Dubai city,Burj Dubai by name,is one of the tourist hot spots.

However,tall buildings always bring objections in various ways.It needs technology and mechanisms to maintain.It should be strong enough to resist natural forces like wind and earthquake.Moreover,it should resist any danger that human kind bring.The fire exits in the tall buildings are not reliable.For example,when the planes hit with the world trade centre in America thousands of people trapped in the top floors because of the fire in the middle floors.Therefore,if anything happen in the ground floor that will be more disastrous than any thing else.Other than this,it needs special technology and equipments to pump water to the top floors.Apart from the,technological problems sky scrapers also bring social dangers.Residents in the tall buildings are compelled to share their neighbourhood with strange people.

In a nut shell,sky scrapers are inevitable factor for the modern world.I helps to accommodate more people in less space.However,the dangers hide in a skyscraper are unavoidable.The innovating security systems and modern technologies may eventually bring the above dangers down.Therefore,I am not agreeing with the objection to skyscrapers

isai 12 / 111  
May 16, 2011   #2
Greetings !

In a nut shell=In a nutshell (one word)

- Few mistakes in grammar, Mistakes arise from more unusual/complex language use
- Some variety in sentence structure
- Some width in vocabulary can convey shades of meaning
- Relevant points.
- Some coherence in paragraphing
- Points are organized in paragraphs
- Essay is interesting

The essay displays a sound understanding of the central issues and is well organised. The arguments are well constructed. The key points are addressed and there are no significant errors.