Hi Nicky. You have written a good essay :)
In my family, the argument topic between my father and mother always involves my father's job.
In my family my father's jog often causes an argument between him and my mother.
Every time I asked him why, he will say, seriously
... he seriously says
I really want to try some different
something different
While there are innumerous people will deem it...
... people, who will deem it ..
These examples make it obvious that great achievement needs someone keen on one task for long time.
These examples make obvious that to get a great achievement one needs to be keen on one task for long time.
While when it comes to "happier", different type of jobs can be responsible factor.
.. when it comes to be "happier", different type of jobs can be decisive factor.
changing of job is what serve to their happie
is what serves to their happiness.
They both will be happy because the change of job, not the same task day by day .
I think you do not need the last part of the sentence.