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TASK II : difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Sep 28, 2015   #1
It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Media is the point centre of information. Media has become the part of human life, influencing every single activities, actions, and emotions. I utterly believe that there are several effects that media can impact toward people's lifestyle.

Turning to demerit, media can influence the viewpoint of human. The adverstiment offered can affect decision making of people to determine something. For instance, the worse, breaking news, which is always broadcasted on television can make their viewers provoked to believe what they see and hear such as Israel attacking Palestina by the brutal actions in order that the viewers will be easy provocated and judge Israel as the troublemakers. As the result, the media has a main role in controlling the human's mind.

Moreover, it also has a merit. The people can be easily get much information the way of media. It unfolds the huge sources of information on worldwide in order that the society is able to consume that information. For example, recently, a large accident occurring in Arab Saudi shows how fast media can be spread after the accident in order that within hours, almost everyone in the world has known about that case. As the result, the media really help in spreading information.

To conclude, I believe the media are having crucial role which we cannot be ignored. Media has controlled every single side of the human life. We should be careful to value the content of media. Became smart viewers is the best way to get way of the influence of media.

aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Sep 29, 2015   #2
hallo Abraham,
Let me offer some suggestion in order to upgrade your vocabulary.

As the result, the media really help in spreading information.

In the first paragraph, you have used the phrase "as the result"... therefore, you can make your sentence vary by replacing this phrase to be "as a consequence, consequently, as in all...

here is my suggestion :
As media deploying a great deal of information across the world, it definitely helps human so as to obtaining news.

To conclude, I believe the media are having crucial role which we cannot be ignored. Media has controlled every single side of the human life. We should be careful to value the content of media. Became smart viewers is the best way to get way of the influence of media.

In conclusion, you should use transition word to make your paragraph coherence.
Here is my suggestion:
The aforementioned evidence reveals that media plays an imperative role that people cannot probably be shunned although the humans' life are under surveillance days and night. Where possible, citizens should be extremely caution from utilizing the content of media as becoming smart viewers is the best way to obtain the influence of media.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 29, 2015   #3
Aditya, we should work on improving your vocabulary at this point. Your thoughts and opinions are good. However, you are unable to grammatically express yourself in the proper manner. Aside from the corrections that Asep presented above, I too have some suggestions. Please refer to my suggested corrections below:

Media is the CENTER POINT of information.
- You accidentally reversed the term here.

Media has become A part of

single ACTIVITIY
- Single connotes singular form so do not use the plural term or rephrase it to "all activities"

You need to complete the message of your introduction by presenting an overview of your opinion regarding the matter.

Turning to demerit, media can influence
- rephrase at "One of the negatives is that media can influence"

the human POINT OF VIEW
- Wrong use of the term. You seem to keep confusing the terms :-)

For instance, the worse, breaking news, which is always broadcasted on television can make their viewers provoked to believe what they see and hear such as Israel attacking Palestina by the brutal actions in order that the viewers will be easy provocated and judge Israel as the troublemakers.

- For instance, the media broadcasts bad news such as the Israeli attack on Palestine, which led to a misconception and prejudgement of Israel as troublemakers.

The people can be easily get much information

unfoldsthe huge sources

on worldwide

in order FOR society is able to consume ACCESS that information.

fast media
NEWS can be spread

the accident in orderthat within hours .

ALMOST everyone in the world has known KNEW about that case.

BECOMING smart viewers is the best way to PROPERLY USE THE the influence of media.
OP Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Sep 29, 2015   #4
This is my revision..

Media is the centre point of information. As seen, the people find it difficult to shun from media which has become a part of human life, influencing all activies, actions, and emotions. I utterly believe that there are several effects that media can impact toward people's lifestyle.

One of the negatives of media is that media can influence the human point of view. The adverstiment offered can affect decision making of people to determine the next acts. For instance, the media broadcasts bad news such as the Israeli attack on Palestine, which led to a misconception and prejudgement of Israel as troublemakers. All in all, it is clear that the media has a main role in controlling the human's mind.

As media deploying a great deal of information across the world, it definitely helps human so as to obtaining news.

Moreover, it has a merit as well. The people can easily get much information the way of media. It unfolds the huge sources of information worldwide in order for the society. For example, recently, a large accident occurring in Arab Saudi shows how news can be spread after the accident within hours, almost everyone in the world has known about that case. Consequently, As media deploying a great deal of information across the world, it definitely helps human so as to obtaining news.

In conclusion, the aforementioned evidence reveals that the media plays an imperative role that the people cannot probably be shunned although the humans' life are under surveillance days and night. Where possible, citizens should be extremely caution from utilizing the content of media as becoming smart viewers is the best way to obtain the influence of media.
aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Sep 30, 2015   #5
Hallo Abraham,

In conclusion, the aforementioned evidence reveals that the media plays an imperative role that the people cannot probably be shunned although the humans' life are under surveillance days and night. Where possible, citizens should be extremely caution from utilizing the content of media as becoming smart viewers is the best way to obtain the influence of media.

I am so sorry,
the phrase of "In conclusion" is same as "the aforementioned evidence"
Therefore, you can opt one of these phrases..

You just need to write,
The aforementioned evidence reveals that the media....


Thank you


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