I also dare to ask you to estimate my essay writing.
That's very daring of you!! :-D Well, I don't dare give a score, because I don't know how youy test will be graded.
Having X provides Y
You can't say "having --- provide"
Having rich natural resources
like oil, gas and coal provides
obvious privileges for some countries, but in most cases may easily lead economy to be more and more oil-based.
Having the biggest part of the budget income based on natural resources, the country`s economy has become fully oil-based except for a few other insignificant incomes.
Nobody ever really says "Thereby"
I dare to say that for foreseeable future we will probably have economical problems and budget deficits.
..as a result of improper allocation of income.
It looks like you may be using the wrong key for apostrophes: country`s it should be country's.
... or commodity which is demanded in the world's market.
The poor production sector only could be improved by properly reallocating oil-based funds to a poor industry sector.
Oil prices are very changeable like the currency in the world's market. It makes it very hard to plan budget allocations and investments.
Nice job! Seriously, this is so very clear and well-written. You are fluent in English, and you dn't make many mistakes at all.