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What difficulties will face your country in the next ten years?


plotophyte 4 / 6  
Mar 10, 2010   #1
What difficulties will face your country in the next ten years?
How can these problems be overcome?

Thesis statement: Oil-based economy will need to be improved.

Having rich natural sources like oil, gas and coal provide obvious privileges for some countries, but in most cases may easily lead economy to be more and more oil-based.

The country where I live now is one of the world`s oil rich countries. Having the biggest part of the budget income based on natural sources export country`s economy has become fully oil-based except some other insignificant incomes. There by I dare to say that for foreseeable future we will probably have economical problems and budget deficits.

Oil-based economy has impacted other industrial sectors very badly as a result of non-proper allocation of income. For now we have very poor production sector. Most of the country`s export commodities constitute oil-products and cruel oil. As a result we do not even have any kind of production material or commodity which is demanded in worlds market.

Poor production sector only could be improved by proper reallocating oil-based funds to a poor industry sector. After, it will probably need full and long-term control and support in order to develop non-oil sectors.

Another problem which may occur is budget deficits. The budget which is mostly depending on an unstable oil income cannot be reliable. Oil prices are very changeable like the currency in worlds market. It makes very hard to plan budget allocations and investments. This problem could be solved only making the budget less depending on oil incomes.

Making an inference I would state that every kind of economy needs a strong industrial sector, only various and competitive production can guarantee a long term income and stable economy growth.

I am thankful in advance for your comments. I also dare to ask you to estimate my essay writing. I am preparing for IELTS General Examination and will be very thankful if you would share your experience with me and estimate my essay writing and give approximate mark.

pmek 2 / 5  
Mar 11, 2010   #2
Really good solid points there

I don't know the maximum or minimum word requirements you have, but if you want to make your essay longer you can give specific examples and/or statistics - a bit more research
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 11, 2010   #3
I also dare to ask you to estimate my essay writing.

That's very daring of you!! :-D Well, I don't dare give a score, because I don't know how youy test will be graded.

Having X provides Y
You can't say "having --- provide"
Having rich natural resources like oil, gas and coal provides obvious privileges for some countries, but in most cases may easily lead economy to be more and more oil-based.

Having the biggest part of the budget income based on natural resources, the country`s economy has become fully oil-based except for a few other insignificant incomes.

Nobody ever really says "Thereby"
There by I dare to say that for foreseeable future we will probably have economical problems and budget deficits.

..as a result of improper allocation of income.

It looks like you may be using the wrong key for apostrophes: country`s it should be country's.

... or commodity which is demanded in the world's market.

The poor production sector only could be improved by properly reallocating oil-based funds to a poor industry sector.

Oil prices are very changeable like the currency in the world's market. It makes it very hard to plan budget allocations and investments.

Nice job! Seriously, this is so very clear and well-written. You are fluent in English, and you dn't make many mistakes at all.
OP plotophyte 4 / 6  
Mar 12, 2010   #4
Thank you Kevin, Your comments everytime help me much indeed, I really appreciate your responsiveness.


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