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The dilemma of whether to continue further education or to apply for a livelihood instantaneously


tuyentruong 5 / 9 7  
Jan 2, 2021   #1
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT STUDYING AT UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE IS THE BEST ROUTE TO A SUCCESSFUL CAREER, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO GET A JOB STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.

DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.



Youngsters sometimes face the dilemma of whether to continue their education or to apply for a livelihood instantaneously after finishing school. Whereas some individuals consider the latter to be more advantageous, I think the former is significantly more beneficial.

The idea of acquiring an occupation straight away seems alluring to young people owing to numerous reasons. With a career, teenagers are able to earn money monthly, and thus, they can afford to purchase things they like without having to consult with their parents first. Furthermore, these youngsters may progress more speedily compared to those who continue their studies. They may gain practical experience as well as invaluable knowledge related to their fields of work. This will inevitably result in either their promotion or a successful occupation.

Having said that, however, I decidedly believe that enrolling in a higher course at college or university to acquire a respectable qualification is more beneficial. In this age and day, an academic qualification from a renowned institution means better career opportunities or higher salaries. Moreover, a considerable number of professions such as pilots, doctors, and teachers, only recruit those who have undergone special training and learning for a compulsory length of time. Additionally, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and there are hundreds of applicants for a sole position. Consequently, those without a university degree will be unable to compete.

In conclusion, from my perspective, youngsters are more likely to succeed in life if they continue studying beyond school level rather than applying for a career instantly.

THANKS FOR YOUR READING AND OPINIONS IN ADVANCE.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,088 3251  
Jan 2, 2021   #2
You are changing the source of information in the essay. The original prompt refers to "some people" and "others". These reference words should not be confused with "youngsters". However, referring to "some individuals" is a correct word replacement for "others". Alternative words for "some people" would be " public, some groups, or personages". By indicating "youngsters", you have changed the source of information, which will lower your TA score as you supplied incorrect information in your restatement. It removes the accuracy of your personal interpretation of the original topic.

The discussion presentation itself is incorrect. There must be individualized discussions of each public point of view, prior to your personal opinion paragraph. The personal opinion can be stated either as an agreement and disagreement with each public opinion, included in the public opinion discussion explanation paragraph, or, as personal opinion in support of a singular point of view. The presentation you have chosen to use does not meet the formatting requirement for this task.

The conclusion needs more work. Attention must be paid to the reverse paraphrase presentation that reiterates the topic, public opinions, and your personal point of view within 3-5 sentences.


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