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Essay about directing youngsters to be admirable global citizens


tuinee 1 / -  
Mar 2, 2021   #1

good members of society in the future



Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.
Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.


These days, educating adolescents to become global citizens is implied to give an imperative boost in social flourish. Many opine that directing the youngster to become a part of society should be ensured by parents, while there is a strong counter-argument in sections of people that it is a school's task. From my perspective, the children had better receive the teaching from both family and academy.

Initially, parenting plays a crucial role in orienting youngsters to be good decent members of society. The children commonly obey their parents' words, therefore, guiding their descendants to subtly deal with societal obstacles may prompt fruitful outcomes. To devote to the society, the children had better acquire social principles comprising respect, obedience legislation at the early ages. It is pointed out that, the things they had learned in childhood may last impression and form human traits. Hence, achieving the parent's instruction may allow them to possess a concrete foundation that aids them in their upcoming steps.

On the other hand, with the view to considering as a good citizen, learning the values of society are expected to be strictly regulated at academic institutions. It is irrefutable that educators and other pupils have abundant impacts on learner's development. Students are entering a minimized form of realistic community at school age by collaborating with friends from diverse walks of life. Throughout the process of school studying, adolescents are able to enhance cooperation skills and practical experiences which lay the foundation for them to blend in hereafter civilization.

In conclusion, directing youngsters to be admirable global citizens required bilateral attempts from both family and educational foundation to attain advantageous products.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Mar 3, 2021   #2
Your first sentence is not in accordance with the original topic provided. There is no reference to a global citizen. nor is there a implication of "imperative boost in social flourish". Where did you get the idea to use such an alternative discussion topic? This creates a severe topic deviation that shows you did not fully understand the original prompt topic. I understand that you were trying to boost your LR score, but you have to do so without altering the original thought presentation. Stick only to the facts provided or risk getting TA score deductions. Why are you using measured references for the opinions presented? You are severely altering the original prompt to the point where your response is risking becoming non-prompt compliant. Which could lead to a failing score in the presentation. Just stick to the basic facts and stop exaggerating. That is one of the major dislikes of examiners that can affect your final overall score.

You have provided your personal opinion in both reasoning paragraphs. You have not, as per the prompt requirements, explained the reason behind the public support for each point of view before you gave an explanation of your opinion. The discussions, as you present them to the reader, due to the lack of pronoun usage, does not clarify if these are public opinion explanations or personal opinion explanations. The use of the pronouns are needed, in the third person, to address the 3 point of view discussion paragraphs.


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