IELTS: Usually directors are paid much higher salaries than simple workers.

Please feel free to give a comment on my essay.
Topic: Usually directors are paid much higher salaries than simple workers. Some people agree with this but other believe it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion on the topic.

Most of big corporation's CEO salary is incomparable to that of ordinary workers. Some people believe that they are deserved to earn it because of their high education, responsibility and skills while others are against of it. In this essay, I will examine both sides of view and present my personal opinion on this matter.

On the one hand, it is a true that most directors have higher education than its staffs. It is a face that when people's education level increases, rate of earning also rises, even directors are exemption. They are highly likely to have tertiary education from top universities. Furthermore, responsibility they shoulder is much heavy than others. Decision they made about business is matter of failure or success. They bear higher responsibility while competing in the stiff market. Therefore, their responsibility should be equivalent to their salary. Similarly, they are much skillful than others by acquiring leadership and communication skills that are vital for negotiations and deals.

On the other hand, some people strongly oppose the high earning of top directors. It is probably because ordinary workers execute main parts of job while director are less aware of operation. For example, in power plant, electrical engineer is main person for operation of generating electricity, not directors since engineer know day-to-day function of factory. Moreover, ordinary could be distinguished from directors by their less ambitious character. Thereby some people believe that high salary should be paid to ambitious, less responsibly and talkative directors.

In the conclusion, I am convinced that it would be Fairless if director's salary is equal to simple workers. Their earning must be higher than others because their knowledge, skills, practice and reputation are significant parts of corporation's growth and future.

You write well. A few details it however takes:
From Paragraph 1:


I prefer to place all or part of the main sentence at the end of the sentence. Like this: While others are against..., some people believe.... . This focuses on the reader's attention on the complexity, rather than the simplicity, in this way address the essay's topic.

From Paragraph 2:


I think you should narrow this point by giving one-two real-life story. Therefore, your readers are easy to follow what you are saying. But, overall you write well :)

MostIn most of the big corporation's,their CEO's salary is incomparable to that of ordinary workers.

Some people believe that they are deserveddeserve to earn such high salaries it because of their high education, responsibility and skillsit is their decisions that provide the strategic direction to a company. However,while others are against of it.for this salary disparities.