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TOEFL: (Dis/Agree) Establish a research center for agriculture in your country or not


Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Apr 4, 2013   #1
I'll very appreciate if someone can come up with any advice.
Thanks in advance! ^ ^

130. A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.

A new research center will be built up with the assistance of a university in my country. There then comes an argument that a center for business research will be more helpful to our country's economy than a center for research in agriculture. However, from my point of view, I am convinced that a center for research in agriculture actually does seem to have an even more important role to play than a center for business research for my country.

To begin with, my country, China, has the largest population in the world. As a result, making progress constantly in the agricultural technology is very important to my country. With the development of this agriculture research center, more and more prominent experts in agriculture realm from all over the world will come to this research center to conduct various crucial projects such as, how to increase the agricultural productivity per acre, how to lower the side effects of using the pesticide and etc. That will clearly escalate our agricultural technology to a new extent.

In addition, undoubtedly, in order to sustain the stability of our society, my country cannot but keep developing agriculture. With a world-class agriculture research center here, our government will lay more emphasis on the agriculture and invest more funds into research projects related to agriculture, which is beneficial to the development of my country and also the development of the research center. That is one of the best examples of a win-win situation.

To put it into a nutshell, according to the particular national condition of my country and advantages of setting up an agriculture research center, I believe that to establish a research center for farming is the best choice for our country. Moreover, if with the forceful policy support of the government, the scientists make some unprecedented breakthroughs in the agricultural field, all humanity will benefit from that. Consequently, I think we should found a agricultural research center.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 4, 2013   #2
Good introduction. Only this line, I find needing a bit of improvement;

However, from my point of view, I am convinced that a center for research in agriculture actually does seem to have an evenplays a more important role to play than a center for business research for my country .

... you have repetitions there; idea and some words too.... Try to present your ideas in a more simple, yet interesting way.

To begin with, my country, China, has the largest population in the world. As a result, making progress constantly in the agricultural technology is very important to my country.

... you repeat "my country" ... use a different synonym.
Overall a good essay. Good structure, ideas, vocabulary ... Good Luck!


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