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TOEFL: (Dis/agree) spend money as you earn it or not

Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Apr 10, 2013   #1
Please give me some constructive advice! Thank you in advance!

Topic: Some people say that it is better to spend money as you earn it, while others think it is better to save money. Which do you think is better: to spend money as you earn it or save it? Use reasons and details to support your answer.

Despite the popular belief that people had better save money rather than spend it when they earn it, I maintain that it is a wiser choice for people to spend money as they earn it. I will back up my point with two crucial reasons. One is that certain activities which are especially made for youngster are not suitable for the old even if in most cases, the old have more money than the young. The other is that the more money people spend, the more impulse to make money people will have.

To begin with, certain activities which are particularly designed for the young are too dangerous for the old even if the old have more money. To elaborate, when a senior who may just retire from his/her old job wants to go for a ride/spin with a newly-bought sport car on the freeway, he has to give up such an idea because it is too dangerous for an aging person to drive too fast. It may end up hurting himself/herself or other people. But if people spend money in buying such a nice car when they are young, they can completely enjoy the fun of driving. As a result, people should spend their money when they earn it, the sooner the better.

In addition, people will have more energies and willingness to make money after they spend the money they earned. For instance, a shrewd businessman just makes a deal which will definitely brings millions of dollars to him/her. Subsequently, the successful businessman decisively makes a decision that the whole company will go to Hawaii for a vacation for free. Although the businessman pays all the money for his employers to go to a travel, the employers will have more vitality and enthusiasm to work after they come back from Hawaii which will lift the working efficiency markedly and consolidate the solidarity of the whole company.

All in all, I am convinced that people had better spend their money instead of saving them because certain activities are not allowed to do when people are getting old and people will have more energy to earn money after they enjoy the service that money provide. Do remember money is just a piece of paper with some portraits on it unless you use it.
abhigeorge 6 / 20 2  
Apr 10, 2013   #2
Hi Xiaokai Jin, You do not need to introduce the reasons for your opinion in the first paragraph. Because later it sounds repetitive.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 11, 2013   #3
Well.... It's better you introduce your topic first and then slowly let it flow to the point of expressing your opinion. Then you can either very briefly introduce your reasons in the intro or let that to happen in your forthcoming body paras. What they mainly expect is an introduction of the topic and the opinion.

... This topic is a broad one and you better maintain it rather than narrowing down to a specific segment. So,you should present your reason broadly and then with the example you can narrow down it.

To begin with, certain activities can only be performed during certain periods of life. For example, youth love to engage in adventurous sports, but they would be too dangerous for seniors. To elaborate more on this point, suppose . ...(give the more specific example)

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