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IELTS- Ad-Dis Essay. More and more people are starting to work from home.

Olivia1989 1 / -  
Mar 22, 2020   #1

The number of online workers is increasing

The question of whether or not workers should do their jobs at home via online devices has been a matter of debate since the Internet age. While there are drawbacks affecting workers, there are some merits of this modern trend. The essay will discuss both negative and positive sides.

One of obvious negative effects of working inside the home is lack of concentration on tasks. Surrounding distraction from neighbor or family, for instance, my nephews always keeps insisting on playing some funny games with me or being himself surrounded by loud music all the time. This would also mean that I can not fully concentrate on my job, which results in less productive, mainly falling to meet its requirements by my supervisor.

Not only that, limit of human social interaction is another downside in spite of technological innovations. Indeed, most conversations occur through keyboards due to a worker sits in front of screen without exchange support from his co-workers. In a long term, some depressed or anxious symptoms have appeared in the first stage. As a result, he suffers from his inside persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in communicating with people.

On the other hand, there is no doubt employees get more benefits from remote work policies. The most remarkable advantage is we would achieve and maintain our work-life balance. This means flexible schedule, namely setting our own working hours, taking breaks, having meals, doing regular physical activity and enjoying quality time with our loved ones at any time we wish. Consequently, work and individual life will be adjusted to our desire.

In addition, home-based office is considered a practical step to solve financial problems. One clear example is that we often spend much money on expensive breakfast, lunch or unexpected expenses at luxury restaurants if our head office is located in an urban area or a cosmopolitan city. That is to say as we work from home, we can buy food from the market and supermarket nearby with reasonable price in which contribute to balance the budget monthly.

To sum up, although working at home may have potential problems, overall I tend to believe that two advantageous aspects, particularly harmonious life style and financial issues will have a dramatic impact on workers' living.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,157 2307  
Mar 22, 2020   #2
The response is inaccurate. You are being asked to choose only one aspect of the topic to discuss. Either you present a solid support of the positive within 2 reasoning paragraphs or, you present a stance on the negative side, again using 2 negative reasons in the defense paragraphs. You cannot compare and contrast because that is not the instruction of the original prompt. You are to pick one side to support and then, present strong discussion topics to defend your stance. Nothing more, nothing less. Remember the original prompt asks:

Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Not once did the essay ask you to do a comparison discussion. It is asking you to directly pick a side to discuss with conviction within 2 reasoning paragraphs. Why do you need to pick only one side? Read the question, the word OR indicates a connection of two different possibilities. Since there are 2 given choices, you must make a decision to pick only one side to discuss. Otherwise, the essay will not be able to deliver a concise and coherent defense of your response. You are being asked to present your position on the given topic based on the choices given. The essay does not say "Discuss both points of views", which is the reference for a comparison essay instruction (advantage v. disadvantage, compare and contrast).

Now, since your essay does not express a position of support as indicated by the original prompt, the TA score will automatically be a 2. Which means, due to the additional mistakes you made in the remaining scoring sections, this essay will not be able to achieve a 5 band score. Why? There are grammar issues in the essay (can not = cannot), concise language issues (whether or not = whether), and punctuation problems with the use of the Oxford comma throughout the listing of related words in the essay will result in point deductions for each scoring criteria. When totaled, the score cannot reach the minimum 5 band bracket.

You also failed to time yourself during this exercise. The resulting 374 words are not an accurate depiction of how you will perform under the 40 minute time limitation during the actual test. Kindly remember to time yourself next time. You should see that you will not be able to write more than 275-290 words for this task. That is, if you consider that you have to outline the discussion topics, draft the essay, grammar and spellcheck your work, before finalizing the presentation. It is impossible to write almost 400 words within the time frame allowed.

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