Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

Ielts task 2 disadvantage of tourism and solution


jocelyne001 9 / 21 13  
Nov 27, 2019   #1

international tourism is harmful?



Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects, why do they think so? What can be done to change their views?

Nowadays, it is quite simple for people to travel to other countries. However, debates have yielded a spectrum of views. Some countries do not consider prosperous tourism industry as a positive development. In this essay, I am going to explain the reasons and provide some solutions for it.

First and foremost, the major rationale of denying the tourism for some specific countries is that it might interrupt the original lives of residents in local areas. Since controlling the qualities and numbers of foreigners is quite difficult, the entry of myriad travelers without having the essential respect towards the religion and customs could disgust local citizens. Also, the visit of travelers at some vulnerable environment like natural national park, as a consequence, could cause the tremendous catastrophe such as the destruction of other creatures's habitats.

Therefore, that's why some countries do not like too many outlanders come to their continents. However, I reckon that there are still some ways that can make them comprehend the advantage of welcoming foreign people. Firstly, analyzing the profit which travel industry can contribute to those countries' economy is one effective solution. If the governments realize how considerable amount of money they can earn from the travelers, they would agree to develop this industry. Moreover, governmental institutions can encourage residents to communicate with people from other countries, too. With this action, the society can become more open and dynamic. Last but not least, it is possible to persuade citizens that advertisements and relevant restrictions on the behavior of foreigners can predominantly diminish their negative influences.

In a nutshell, although for some reasons, some countries do not have positive reputation on tourism, some solutions can still be applied to change their belief.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,062 374  
Nov 27, 2019   #2
@jocelyne001
Hi there. Thanks for your continuous participation in the forum! I am hoping that the feedback you receive here will somehow help you in your writing endeavors. Don't hesitate to approach us once more if you have any additional concerns!

Firstly, try to create simpler-sounding sentences to ascertain that the delivery is clear. For instance, that first paragraph is clearly lacking the clarity that is often sought after. You could have just mentioned simply that there ongoing debates on the extent of the impact of tourism. This would have been a much more effective and well-packaged approach to the situation.

Furthermore, the latter parts of the text also have to be treated with the same regard. Notably, you need to focus more on creating more substantive and yet concise sentences. Take, for instance, that second paragraph's last sentence - that should have been cropped down to a shorter text, especially accounting for the fact that you weren't trying to explain anything that was too complex.


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2 disadvantage of tourism and solution