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What discovery in the last century has been most beneficial for your country?


adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 23, 2009   #1
hi again,

so guys...is getting better? to much history and is out of subject?what about my grammar? thanks

In the last century, my country, Romania, had passed through many changes and regimes that influence its history in many ways. The worst experience for my country was the communist regime. Scientists made so many discoveries and inventions over the century, but I think the most important for the people of Romania is the internet.

Under monarchy, Romania had reached the performance to be the second largest grain exporter in Europe and the economy flourish. Young people were educated in Paris and other big universities centres around Europe. All this changed when the communist party ravished the liberty and fortunes of people. With the instauration of the communist regime, dreams were stolen. From 1947 to 1989 life was a continuum of suppression and low standards; borders were close and educated people imprisoned. Generation were using the same kind of furniture, appliances same educational curriculum. It was no progress, dreams or hope during this half-century. But all came to an end in 1989 when a revolution took place and the regime fell down. People celebrated the freedom of thinking and mostly the hope for a better life.

After all this years, Romanians gained the right to live at the same standards as the people in developed countries. Now the key-word is "information" and what helps us to have it is the internet. On the internet is so easy to have a conversation with somebody from other country, to know the most recent news or the new movie that won an Oscar prize. You do not have the money to travel? Well, you can use Google Earth and you can travel in seconds anywhere in this world. Under communism, even if you were the best student, there was no chance for you in Romania, but now, you can apply online to universities all over the world. The amount of information on the internet is huge: encyclopaedias, books, foreign languages courses, new discoveries, the most recent entertainment shows and news from all over the world. There are no boundaries anymore and this is our true achievement.

The internet helped us to get beyond the years that we were far behind civilization and evolution of the developed nations. The progress that we had made in these 20 years was huge and that was possible only with the discovery of the internet who gave us access to information. Without this huge amount of information I'm sure my country will still be far behind.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Apr 23, 2009   #2
Okay, it's not so much that you have too much history as that you don't tie the idea of the Internet into the history soon enough. You need to expand on your introduction so that the connection between Romania's communist past and the importance of the Internet is obvious from the beginning.
OP adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 24, 2009   #3
i see...and i saw some mistakes too...thanks
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 24, 2009   #4
In the last century, My country, Romania, had passed through many changes and regimes that influence its history in the past century.

Scientists made so many discoveries and inventions ...

Subsequent generations were using the same kind of furniture, appliances, same and educational curriculum. We had no progress, dreams or hope during this half-century.

"Internet" needs to be capitalized.

On the Internet, it is so easy to have a conversation with somebody from another country, to know the ...

This is very thoughtful, and you show through your writing that you are the kind of student whose intelligence shows in the process of working to perfect his/her English.


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