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[IELTS] A discursive essay on visitors' attitude toward other countries's culture.


thanhthanhdo10 2 / - 1  
Aug 17, 2014   #1
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow customs and behaviors. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Tourism constitutes an increasing percentage in many countries' economy proportion. There are a number of people supporting the idea that it is the host country which should welcome visitors as well as their different cultures. Meanwhile, other people are in favour of visitors following the local customs and behaviors whenever they visit another country. In my perspective, both views have their points as can be explained in this essay.

Foreigners from other countries should stick to the local culture for some reasons. First thing considered, by showing commitment to the host country's culture and traditional activities, visitors are not only displaying their respect to the country where they are taking their holidays but also to their homeland as well. Not to mention, when following new traditional traits from a strange country, visitors have chances to experienced the diversity of the world's civilisation. Such invisible world heritages as "Hue royal musical" or "Budhism wordshiping tradition" cannot be completely enjoyed if the listener don not attach themselves to the local culture or blend in the crowd of local people.

However, the host country should introduce some policy to welcome cultural differences. This differences brought in by out-of-border visitors are the valuable sources of diversity needed by every nations to fulfil their cultures. Moreover, allowing foreign customer to keep their cultural behaviours also paves the way for the tourism industry to develop. Since when every visitors feel like home when travelling, their attitudes to the host country would be more positive thus they definitely are encouraged to be back next time.

All things considered, while visitors should try to commite to the local cultures whenever necessary, the host country itself must satisfy their customer through passing some regulations to assist the new people with the local differences. In addition, each government needs to consider which new traditional traits are best compatible for itself to fix the flaws and generate new value in its society.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 17, 2014   #2
Tourism constitutes an increasing percentage in many countries' economy proportion.

You need to redo this line to enhance its effectiveness :(
Tourism contributes largely to a country's economy.

There are a number of people supporting the idea that it is the host country which should welcome visitors as well as their different cultures.

Before this line, tell the background of the issue;
However, due to cultural diversity across the globe, tourism sometimes leads to issues between the hosts and guests.
visitors have chances to experiencedexperience the cultural diversity of the world's civilisation.
Stevie 1 / 2 1  
Aug 17, 2014   #3
I think you've done a good job argumenting from both sides, I agree with your view.

Foreigners from other countries should stick to the local culture for some reasons.

"Foreigners from other countries" -> foreigners are by definition from other countries, so you could maybe omit that part.

Since when every visitors feel like home when travelling, their attitudes to the host country would be more positive thus they definitely are encouraged to be back next time.

I would rewrite this sentence a little, perhaps something like this:
"If visitors feel at home when travelling, their opinion of the host country will be more positive (or favourable), thus encouraging them to visit the country again:"


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