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Discuss the advantages of team sports and individual sports, indicate which you prefer?

youe 3 / 3 1  
Apr 29, 2016   #1
Hi, would anybody could help me to check the grammar or the strange sentence? I very appreciate your kindness and patience.

Some people prefer to play team sports, while other prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why?

There are many advantages for both individual sports and team sports. In my opinion, I would prefer to play a game with partners rather than play alone. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, when athletes choose to participate in individual sports, they might encounter some training that helps them to become a stronger person. First reason of all, playing a game alone enables players to develop a disciplined mind. Secondly, an independent athlete could learn how to think things in a big picture. For example, table tennis is a sort of sports that competing in a way through one on one. Players need to adjust their state to the best mode whether they got frustrated or not, the fact is that nobody will cheer you up during the competition. In addition to, coach won't stand beside the court and give you an advice, and players should try to manage a comprehensive strategy by themselves.

Moreover, if athlete chooses to play with partners that can also enables them to get a lot of advantages. First, players can make numerous friends from a group, and some of those friends might become a closest friend in a life. Second, working with partners helps a person to develop the skill of collaboration. For instance, basketball is a sport played by two teams of five players. However, each person has its own characteristic and specialty, coach will put all players in a different position to balance their ability, and teaches them how to collaborate with partners. Then, players will be asked to spend a plenty of time on training together. Consequently, they fight side by side on the competition, the most important thing is that no matter the result is win or not, they all obtain a valuable experience.

Last but not the least, in my opinion, I would prefer to play team sports. As I am a person who has a strong emotional and adventurous personality, I love to make friends, what makes me feel not lonely. Besides, I like to learn a new skill that I have ever done. For example, I have joined in a basketball team when I was a teenager. We have participated in a lot of competitions and I have spent half of time in my high school to play basketball. As a result, I have learnt widely useful skills that I lacked through the competition and my diversity of partners. Furthermore, these experiences also become an important part in my career.

In conclusion, taking into all aforementioned statements, both team sports and individual sports have numerous advantages. For me, I once again reaffirm that if I have one more chance to choose which sports I prefer to join, I won't hesitate to choose team sports.
Maya29 14 / 18 14  
Apr 29, 2016   #2
Hi Youe, you write quite well. Please allow me to give some suggestions to you.

they might encounter some trainings that helps them

an independent athlete couldcan learn how to think things in a big picture (please avoid the word "thing" in academic writing. that word is hard to understand. you may change it into "problems")

In addition to , coach won't stand beside the court and gives you an advice

and some of those friendsmightmay become

basketball is a sport played by two teams which each team consists of five players

each person has itshis or her own

You stated your thesis statement three times, in introduction, fourth and last paragraph. Actually, it is strong enough if you just stated it twice. Mentioning it in number of times may be seen as redundancy.

I hope my suggestions will be useful for you. Keep writing.. :)

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