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jhhh11 14 / 30  
Jul 28, 2020   #1

Computer vs human

I hope that I got the discussion essay structure correct this time! Thank you in advance for your feedback, everyone!
A band score estimation will be helpful too.

Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligence than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


There is no doubt that the advancement of computers is happening rapidly. While I share the concern with people who worry about the detrimental effects of this trend, I am on the side with the ones that are fascinated by its potential implications.

On the one hand, the fear of intelligence machines is not radical. Many programs, nowadays, deeply analyze the users' behavior patterns and can make an impact on human lives in various ways. One clear example is the daily recommendations of music, next destinations, or suggestions on who to contacts that are provided by smartphones. They can accurately reflect the user's preference and even predict the next decisions. Opponents to the technology development claim that future machines can have increasing controls on human by giving such delicate guidance.

On the other hand, computers are invented and enhanced to serve for a better living experience. Modern people can enjoy the ease of living without the need of doing many household chores. Floors are cleaned by automated vacuum robots, dishes become spotless by the work of the dishwashers. Above all, these works are programmed by humans; we hold firmly the control over these computers. People who support the modernization point out that if the computing engineers design the computers to have narrow specializations, such as the cleaning robots, the fear of the aforementioned opponent is minimized. I think that technology is the future, hence we should take proactive actions to ensure our sustainable prospect, and not to neglect its benefits.

In conclusion, the impact of technology is profound. The worry that computers will overtake humans is reasonable, however, engineers can strictly limit the computer's capability. Overall, I strongly believe that technological advancement will improve human living quality.
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Jul 28, 2020   #2
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You did not accurately restate the prompt. You need to use only the information provided. That means, you have to refer to the scientists in your version of the discussion rather than indicating an opinion (There is no doubt...) because the opinion should be presented within the reasoning paragraphs. You only present the 2 sides of the discussion, not your opinion. This is an incorrect restatement + response to the instruction. It is not correct.

Do not refer to one hand and the other, refer to the gender free groups of people for each discussion point. For the scientists, you may refer to "technological minds", for the opponents, they may be called "anti technology supporters".

You turned the whole discussion into a general discussion without any clear reference to the groups that are speaking. You also neglected to present and defend your personal opinion as the 3rd reasoning presentation. The essay is not good. It does not deliver on the expected formatting, reference, and discussion requirements.

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