Please somebody helps me check my essay. I want to get 6.5+ in my writing
Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?
Food plays an essential role in our daily life. However, people today are quite busy and that is the reason why fast food is becoming more and more popular. It is believed that this is a good chance because of its convenience and low cost but I completely disapprove of this statement for two main reasons.
First of all, processed food has an adverse effect on the long-term health of human beings. It is indisputable that fast food is a cheap and time-saving way to eat, but taking too much can lead to serious diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes and heart disease. The reason is junk food contains a high calorie and cholesterol level, which affects considerably those who tends to overuse it. Moreover, food hygiene also poses threat to our health because many restaurants today use unclear origin food and food addictive. When eating these kinds of food regularly, we will be poisoned by toxic chemicals and suffered from cancer.
Secondly, the strong development of fast food industry is ruining human's diet habit. In earlier times, family members used to prepare and have meals together in a cozy atmosphere but now, they often go to the fast food restaurants instead of going to the market to but food and cook meals, which may cause the loss of food recipes inherited from former generations. It is easily understandable that people these days have less time for themselves to cook and that is why more and more processed food restaurants appear. As for me, this is really a negative trend because it badly affects the quality of the time we spend with our beloved ones.
To sum up, I once again reaffirm my opinion that fast food is a potential menace to our bodies. We need to restrict ourselves to unhealthy food and have a balanced diet.
Hello Nguyễn,
There is a disconnect between your opening paragraph and the next one. In the first, you stated that the perceived reason for fast food popularity is busyness. If I understand your essay correctly, you are saying the convenience and low cost of fast food should not be enough reason for its continued consumption.
I would suggest you acknowledge the virtue of those benefits and then present your health perspective (which is a fantastic one by the way), as a greater and opposing reason to stay away from fast food.
Your second reason is very sentimental and indirect but I think it works. It is food after all!
Your facts are there. They just need articulation.
