Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Writing Task 2: Discuss and give opinion about certain talents and training


conghieu98bn 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2020   #1

Hard work or a born talent?



It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is true that several individuals get excellent capacity in fields such as sport, art since they were born. However, it can be argued that every kid is feasible to be good at any occupation by training. In my opinion, I believe that teaching is an important key to gain success in any domain

The opinion that some people are born to be talented is attractive for historical truth of many great individuals. For example, Ronaldo, the most excellent football player, has been well-known for his aptitude for this game since he was a kid. People who have an innate ability like Ronaldo may be called "genius" in their field. According to scientists, this is a natural phenomenon that each area of human brain is responsible for an identified function. If a person has an inborn well-developed cerebral region, they may have a special capability for something, for instance, singing

From a optimistic view, it is totally true that any child can be taught to become expert in any field . From a personal point, the priciple factors for success are diligence and having good methods under educating. To illustrate, a boy dreamed of being a famous singer with a wonderful voice, he entered Music Academy where he learnt how to breathe, move tongue to have a good singing. After a long time practising, his voice is better and he turns out to be a renowned singer now. It cannot be denied that to get that excellent achievement, his hard-working practice and his trainers play an aabsolutely significant role.

In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against factors influencing on one's success and I believe that every child has opportunities to be specialise in any domain by training

This is the first task 2 essay I have wrote. I hope to receive your valuable comments

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,584 2488  
Apr 10, 2020   #2
You did an almost good job with this essay. You see, this is a 5 paragraph essay that has the following format:

Par 1: Paraphrase
Par.2: Third person public point of view 1
Par.3: Third person public point of view 2
Par. 4: First person point of view that supports one of the 2 public POV
Par. 5: Concluding paraphrase

You did not properly represent the instructions for the discussion in your paraphrase. You have to indicate that this will be a comparison essay that will offer information to help you create a personal point of view. You cannot have a personal point of view immediately because the essay requires a comparison discussion first. That is why you are given 3 reasoning paragraphs to work with in the middle of the essay. Consider both public opinions then support one based on your personal take of the discussion. Use paragraph 3 to discuss the pov that you will be supporting in your personal opinion / reasoning paragraph. The essay incompletely represents the required discussion format because of the neglected public point of view discussion. You will have points deductions because of the uneven discussion development under the TA section.

When presenting your examples using publicly known figures, you need to present the full name of the person for the benefit of the reader and also, to follow the rules regarding the writing of proper nouns. In this case, Ronaldo is a single name, known to soccer players and fans. However, his full name is Christian Ronaldo, for the sake of the reader who may not be familiar with the athlete, you have to use the full name. It is the academic way of writing. Always include the title of the person's occupation (Doctor, professor, chef, etc.) then the full name. It creates an academic presentation, increases your GRA score, and allows you to highlight that your vocabulary is extensive enough to know how to use titles with the names.

If you wish to score better, use your personal experience in the discussion. If you have a talent or skill that you developed over time, then you will get more points considerations for using yourself as the example in the paragraph. It creates an academic, yet personal discussion that the examiner will appreciate.
OP conghieu98bn 1 / 1  
Apr 10, 2020   #3
@Holt
I'm very grateful to your advice. Hope to receive more significant comments from you
What about the way I use the words. Whether it is natural or not?


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Discuss and give opinion about certain talents and training