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IELTS Task 2 - discuss the importance of homework

lee1943 1 / -  
Jul 22, 2017   #1
I am preparing for my ielts test and I find that writing is the most difficult, thanks for any help in suggesting ways to improve my writing.

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

the argument about doing school tasks at home

People have different views on whether schools ought to give any homework to children. Some argue against the presence of homework as it put too much pressure on the children but in my opinion I believe it is necessary and of vital importance in children's education.

People think that homework is unnecessary for several reasons. Firstly, parents often find that their children are exhausted after attending a full day at school. They should have enough time to rest instead of doing homework in order to replenish and be ready for tomorrow's challenge. Secondly, studies have shown that playtime is equally important to children's development as study time. For example, doctors suggest daily exercising helps promote our brain development and will make us smarter. Finally, parents working full time disapprove the idea of homework because they often have to help their child in solving homework problems after work which is not desirable from their perspective.

In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that homework is important in educating our children. For example, by teaching students to complete their assignment on schedule, they can develop a sense of responsibility and self discipline. In addition, some kinds of challenging questions in the homework can simulate children to think and become more intelligent. Another benefit is that homework provides a way for teachers to understand what kind of difficulties the students are having so that they can revise the syllabus and be more focus on those problematic area during their teaching.

In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawback on our children, but I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long run.

ms85644 - / 2 1  
Jul 22, 2017   #2
Hi @lee1943
In your essay, you only discussed the negative side, not the other side of importance on homework.
Hope it helps
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,664 2036  
Jul 22, 2017   #3
Wally the whole approach that you took to discussing this essay is not in accordance with the prompt requirement. Your paraphrasing alone shows that you misunderstood the task assigned and as such, you ended up portraying an unacceptable version of the prompt. It is unacceptable because it does not follow the instructions you were originally provided. The prompt instructions said "discuss both sides and give your opinion." You discussed only one side then gave your personal opinion.

The essay also suffers from a lack of cohesiveness and coherence because you discuss too many topics in one paragraph. Each paragraph must only discuss one topic in order to properly develop complex sentences that lead to the cohesiveness of the presentation and a clear understanding (coherence) of the paragraph discussion. You need to present only one topic for discussion. The failure of the cohesiveness and cohesion stems from you trying to show off your knowledge of the topic instead of your ability to discuss the topic. Those are two different things. Just show your ability to discuss one reason for the given topic per paragraph. Don't show off your vocabulary skills that are not perfect. Just prove that you can discuss in an understandable manner in English. Nothing more, nothing less. Your conclusion is also faulty as it is only a single sentence when the minimum requirement is 3 sentences per paragraph. So the essay was not concluded in the proper manner and doesn't contain the correct information in relation to an effective concluding statement.

What two sides were you supposed to discuss? The first side was "people think homework is necessary because it plays a role in the child's education." and the other "Others believe homework should not be given". Then your personal opinion comes last. Review the prompt requirements, you will see that you only discussed 2 parts in what should have been a 5 paragraph essay.

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