ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENT AND THE THREAT TO HUMANKIND
Hello everyone. My name is Trang. I'm preparing for my IELTS exam so I hope to get some advices from you guys.
Here is a question: Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
And here is my essay:
Artificial Intelligence has made a significant contribution to human life. While I believe that the advanced in Artificial Intelligence brings a range of benefits in a foreseeable future, I also agree that people are not equipped with essential skills and experiences in order to negotiate computers or other technological devices which are smarter than us.
On the one hand, Artificial Intelligence may become so bright that they can easily govern human. Machines benefit enormously from many technological's changes, not only the improvement of engines and the expansion of electrical system but also by enriching knowledges, which is a contributing factor influencing their determinations without any individuals' instruction. By having their own desires, they will be able to overthrow our dominance and turn us into slaves. This prospect is a catalyst of the bloody and frightening war between humankind and machines, which is a serious hazard to our peaceful world.
On the other hand, I believe that the society can gain benefits from the Artificial Intelligent's progression. With modern equipments and the ability to handle and analyze a large amount of data informations, machines can now assist people in making the most possible solution and foreshadow many important issues. For example, satellite technologies and spacecrafts are capable of predicting the portent of hidden problems such as hurricane, tsunami or earthquake. Based on specific results from their devices, experts and scientists can prevent or reduce damage of natural disaster, which is a menace to creatures' life on Earth.
In conclusion, despite of some people's belief about the threats of Artificial Intelligent, I still believe that their advancement will make a good effect on supporting human to create a modern and better world.
It's a fairly good essay.
There's a good progression from the introduction to highlighting about the drawbacks and then the advantages of technology in the lives of humans in the future.
What I felt is that while you did put in a lot of content and even include "a possible war between humans and machines" , the advantages fell short in comparison somewhere, especially considering that in the end you were in favour of technological advancement.
Even your introduction paragraph led me to believe that you supported that we as humans were not well equipped to handle the situation.
You can either add more points or ideas in favour of the advantages or maybe strengthen up the conclusion statement.
I've done a quick grammatical and word sentence framework check.
While I believe that the
advanced advancement in Artificial ... in order to negotiate with computers ... which are could end up being smarter than us.
the one hand, ... can easily govern human (instead of govern human - easily overthrow humans using their superior intelligence.).
... from many technological
's changes, ... but also by enriching knowledge s, ... influencing their determination s without ...
By having their own desires or will, they will be ...
... a catalyst of the possible
bloody and frightening (Bloody and frightening sounds a bit inappropriate) horrendous war between...
... the society can gain a multitude of benefits ...
... amount of data information
s, machines ... people in making finding the solutions to most problems the most possible solution and ...
... tsunami or earthquakes.
... damage of anatural disaster, which is a menace to
creatures' life on Earth all life on earth.
In conclusion, despite
of some people's ... their advancement will make a good effect will have a much more positive influence on supporting human life to create a modern, safe and better world.
Remember to always stick with the word limit.
Good Luck! :)