Hi, everyone!
I'm a new member here and I'm a IELTS beginner, so I really hope that you guys will help me to improve my writing skill. I'm very thankful if you point out my mistakes and give me as many as possible advices.
Fitness for Both Body and Mind at schools
There are some people opine that students need to be emphasized on physical activities while others think it's better if let they complete the logic subjects at school.
Education in schools has become one of the most concerned issues in every country. As the result, students have been spending more and more times focusing on hitting the book than doing exercises. There are several reasons for this phenomenon, also a host of strategies with regard to encourage children to be more active.
Firstly, learning biosciences is the major foundation for a child's growth. It is the initial step from which children gain their knowledge in particular areas such as environment, science, social life and so on. When they get older, it is important for them to hold a degree or a diploma so that they apply for jobs. The other reason for the increasing in studying subject at school is their obtaining achivements in the future may contribute to country's development, which the government cares about. Thus, an abundance of educational policies have carried out and schools have been raised in number.
However, we should not take physical activities for granted. Doing exercises plays a pivotal role in our health. You are definitely unable to accomplish the task effectively without a good physical statement. The school board of managers should run more physical education classes as a part of their curriculum and take place as many as possible sports competitions. As well as, parents are suggested to stimulate their children to take part in outdoors playing when they were little. Finally young generations are able to set up their own public clubs or groups regarding to sport and draw others to join in.
All in all, burning the midnight oil or engaging in sport, each has its own benefits, but if we know how to combine both properly, we will get the most effective solution and the better result.Hi Phoenix, hope that I can help.
I am sorry but I'm afraid you might be off topic. From the question you provide seems talking about two groups of people, one claimed physical activities is important while the other emphasized on logic/academic subjects. However from your respond on the introduction paragraph you stated nowadays student spend too much time on academic than that on physical.
If it is a 2 sides plus opinion question, you may have to (i may be wrong, so it is only a suggestion, you are always welcome to show me your way):
1. paraphrase the question + your opinion
2. 1 side view
3. the view of another side
4. your opinion (some people like to put that to 3rd paragraph, is all up to you)
5. Concluding paragraph, paraphrase of the question again + summary of the body paragraph + your opinion
