IELTS Writing Task 2 Discuss both point of view: should children learn mathematic in school

Topic:

Some parent believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both sides.

is mathematic still necessary in school syllabus?

Nowadays whether or not learning mathematics in school become a hot debate topic among parents. Some parents think that the subject "Mathematics" is irrelevant to be learned in school. However, other parents opine that it should be a mandatory subject. Both sides of arguments will be further discussed in this essay.

One point of view is that parents believe that mathematics is no longer important and it should be removed as a school subject. They think that it is no longer needed because computer take over tasks which required mathematics skill and it can run the operation very fast in its system. For example,there are computer program like Microsoft Excel can solve complex mathematics equation in few seconds. This is the reason why parents believe that their children should not learn mathematics in school.

In opposite point of view, there are also some parents think that their children should learn mathematics as a learning basic in school althought it might not be used in future. The reason is that, mathematics can help children to think faster because their brain will be always active and also more alert to surrounding. For example, children can realise directly if the change gotten is in wrong amount when they buy something in a shop. They can perform the mathematical calculation directly in their brain without relying on gadgets.

In conclusion, it is still a question mark if mathematics still necessary in school syllabus? Some parents are agree but some parents are not. This essay discussed both point of view, whether mathematics should remain as a school subject.

for this essay which band can i get in ielts ?

Yi, you will need to develop your vocabulary. You do not understand the word meanings and differences so you have a tendency to use the wrong word in place of another. You should also develop your synonym listing for your word usage and LR considerations. The main mistake in word usage for you is in the way you understood the original prompt and how you paraphrased it. The problem words are "redundant", from the original and "irrelevant". Here are the word meanings for your future reference:

redundant - not or no longer needed or useful
irrelevant - not connected with or relevant to something.

Redundant means something is repetitive while irrelevant means something no longer being used. Therefore, irrelevant cannot be used to replace the term redundant. Redundant could be replaced by other words like unnecessary, or inessential.

On an individual scoring basis, I believe you could receive the following base scores:

TA - 6

C&C - 5

LR - 4

GRA - 5

The good news is that you understand the original prompt and you were able to discuss it accurately to the extent that is not affected by the sentence structure and grammar problems that you have in the essay. Comprehension is half the task. So you are on the right track. You just need to brush up on your vocabulary skills and sentence development in order to increase your scoring potential.

ST you need to fix is:
- learning basic => basics or basis
- Your conclusion is not suitable in writing task 2 structure.

@vannguyetthanh

how to write conclusion in this type of question? i mean the 2 side of views question.