Mr/Ms. Holt, I write new essay. Please let me know any thing I need to improve,
which sentence contains incorrect grammar or shouldn't be written or it is not related to the prompt?
is the conclusion better?
The risk at sportsSome people think governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think it is people's freedom to do whatever sports activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sports involving a high degree of risk are one of the attractive physical activities which have been appealing to many fans. Many people claimed that authorities should not allow people to take part in these games, while others disagree with this idea. However, I believe that these activities should not be banned
On the one hand, governments have to ban dangerous games since these ones have a potential risk which players cannot control well. These games require people to have professional skills such as diving, jumping, so forth and practice them in many times. If people cannot meet these requirements, dangerous actions negatively affects on them. Take freediving as an example, to play this game, a gamer should be a diving expert, not an amateur and he needs to know his health condition to be sure the water's pressure not to cause his heart to stop beating. Therefore, to prevent individuals from the death caused by these sports games, authorities require people not to participate in them.
On the other hand, I argue in favour of the view that harmful sports are only a professional players' choice. People who take part in these actions are experts, they will do things others are afraid of such as jumping from a helicopter or a high mountain. Before doing activities in the outside environment, experts have practiced in harmless places, thus they can manage their actions and conditions. Moreover, they can discover many new places and make various pictures of these views. As a result, we can know more parts of the world where we will never go to.
In my opinion, politicians just need to alert people to be careful when playing these games. Comparing with driving carelessly on the streets, they are not as a serious problem as causing people's injuries to be limited
To conclude, there is a beneficial effect on prohibiting harmful sports. However, I strongly contend that playing these games is an individual's choice which the government cannot restrict