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[IELTS WRITING TASK 2] DISCUSS THE VIEWS OF ADVERTISING AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.


Traphan 1 / 1  
Sep 20, 2021   #1
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.
Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. With the development of technology and the economy, nowadays, people have so many ways to introduce their products to the consumer, and advertising is one of the best successes as it appears everywhere in our lives, from TV, newspaper, panel to flyer. Advertising makes things not only more lively and attractive but also adding some meaningful slogans to encourage the consumer to buy.

But in another hand, other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. It is understandable because some advertising is being used to overreacting the products that make disappointed to consumers when they actually buy but it is not qualified as was advertised. Time by time, consumer gradually lost their trusting in advertising and starting care more about the product information before decided to buy it or not, and they might rather see it on real to make the decision.

In my opinion, there is no doubt that advertising plays a very successful role to make people buy things. But also have to admit the high prediction, that people could no longer care about it. Quality advertising is the fastest and the most effective way to bring products to consumers, but it might not work out if the real products are not the same as what it was advertising. So I think people could ignore advertising if it delivering the wrong message and the real quality of the products.
paleodietcorner 2 / 4 2  
Sep 20, 2021   #2
First and foremost,, you write in a wrong format. WriTask2 requires 4 paragraphs, containing an opening, 2 bodies and a conclusion. This would be an enormous minus point to u.

Secondly, you make an over-average amount of grammar mistakes in your writing. Thus, I suggest you use GoogleDoc to correct them.

Last but most important, let's take a look at your essay:
1) First paragraph: You only referred that "advertising is one of the best successes as it appears everywhere in our lives". Does successequal frequency? No matter the answer, you have to outline some evidence to prove it, which is not outlined. The only things you described are slogans, which do not actually correspond with the idea. => Minus regarding the Coherence and cohesion (CC).

2) Second paragraph: "disappointed to consumers when they actually buy but it is not qualified as was advertised.". I think the relationship between two ideas here is definitely not CONTRARY, but it is CAUSE-RESULT. Therefore, the more appropriate word should be due to. In addition, the idea is "no longer pay attention" but you wrote " care more about the product information". Isn't it confusing? => Again, minus regarding CC.

3) Third para:"the high prediction, that people could no longer care about it." => The prompt is that the notion of paying less attention on those products is recent, not future. => A confusing term.

4) Grammar complexity: the main issue is not paraphased so it proves that you don't have the required ability.

Cheers.
OP Traphan 1 / 1  
Sep 20, 2021   #3
@paleodietcorner Thank you so much, I really appreciate your feedback.


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