Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is believed by countless people that developing the economy is the sole solution to hunger and poverty whereas sceptics argue that it would cause serious consequence to the ecosystem. In my opinion, economic growth contains both benefits and drawbacks.
On the one hand, national economy has an unchangeable role in guaranteeing people's living standards. Comparing to multiple factors which could possibly deal with poverty and hunger including educational quality or accessibility to healthcare, a developed economy clearly does better in tackling practical and serious problems. For example, various issues which create poverty, like labor redundancy or low average wage could not be completely solved with education. In addition, economic growth would stimulate agricultural production as well as other sectors in the country to work effectively as government and companies have more money to operate, thus directly eliminate poverty and hunger.
On the other hand, it is impossible to protect the environment while managing economic activities. To develop the economy, a nation would primarily rely on industry which is also the main cause for numerous kinds of pollution, namely water impurity and air contamination. In fact, the global greenhouse gas emissions from industrial processes reported to increase annually for more than a century without any signs of declining considerably rise the concerns in a lot of countries. Furthermore, despite the presence of modern waste treatment technologies, many companies do not have a proper treatment for waste since the expense for new technologies are generally expensive. Actually, it is not until immoral companies releasing harmful substance into nature are brought to light that people publicly know.
In conclusion, I strongly believed that economic growth is the only way to get rid of poverty and hunger, however, economic activities must observe the regulation for environment and restriction in order to minimize negative impact on the planet.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Kindly remember that you have to create a strong and convincing personal opinion. This needs to be based upon rational and believable discussion points in a fully developed, stand-alone paragraph. The conclusion is used only to restate the previous discussion. When you state your personal opinion in the conclusion, you create an open-ended essay that could very well result in a failing score. Why is it a failing score? There is no summary recap as required by the summary conclusion. As the name of that paragraph indicates, it is a summary, not a personal opinion or reasoning paragraph.
If you wish to create a better debate for this essay, use the compare and contrast format for the reasoning presentations. That means, you will accomplish 2 things in 2 reasoning paragraphs:
- Prove why an advantage is a disadvantage
- Explain why an advantage is a disadvantage
The basis of the explanations will be your understanding of the public opinion, using both the third person and first person pronouns for clarity of presentation.
You did a very good job in the restatement + personal opinion. You also provided general discussion points that would have been improved by the proper use of third person pronouns in the paragraphs to differentiate it from your personal opinion. The main error in this presentation is the discussion of, or lack thereof, of the personal opinion in the conclusion. Remember, do not use the conclusion for your personal opinion as this does not create a true closing summary for your discussion. It does not matter if you state "In conclusion" because the examiner will read the paragraph and immediately identify it as a non-conclusion and score it accordingly. The best way to avoid that problem is to merge your personal opinions with the public discussion points in a proper manner.
