IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss both views: Fictional violence

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment.
Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is undeniably true that violent scenes are gaining in popularity. Some people claims that watching fictional violence for entertaining cause no harm to us while others argue this will lead to real actions in life. In my opinion, make-believe violence poytrayed on television doesn't affect our behaviours if we have a critical mind.

First of all, fictional violence is purely made for entertainment. Therefore, the people who access to this kind of media just for the purpose of entertaining but not for motives to act it in real life. Besides, there are appropriate violent fiction for each group of age depending on their receptive ability. Also, every kind of media containing violent details always has attached precautions for viewers. For these reasons, the extent to which fictional violence affects viewers' behaviours is decided by their choices.

On the other hand, some viewers especially children tend to emulate violent actions appeared on television. Producers often use violent details to glamorize their characters as having superpowers, forming a typical character called hero. As a result, children usually keep this common misconception and imitate violent actions.

In conclusion, fictional violence is made just for entertainment but not for other intended reasons to persuade viewers to imitate. To avoid being affected by those contents, we need to have a critical mind and only choose what suitable for us.

Thank you for helping me to correct my essay!

Normally, this kind of writing would get an automatic failing score. You only wrote 227 out of 250 words, which means the preliminary score will receive appropriate percentage deductions based on the number of words lacking in relation to the minimum allowable word count. The essay will definitely start off with a failing score that the rest of the scoring considerations will have to overcome in order to garner a passing score. In this case, that may not be possible.


This is a false claim that should not be made in the prompt restatement. Please remember that there are 2 public opiunions being presented for the discussion topic. Therefore, nothing can be claimed as "undeniably true". This particular sentence should never be prsented in any discussion since it is not in compliance with the prompt restatement considerations. Only the next 2 sentences are actually needed for your prompt restatement + opinion presentation.

None of the reasoning paragraphs are properly presented. The format for this discussion must be as follows:

Sentence 1: Public opinion
Sentence 2: Reason for the public belief
Sentence 3: Writer's (dis)agreement with the given statement
Sentence 4: Writer's supporting reason based on a valid example
Sentence 5: Addiitonal explanation to support the example (if required or applicable)

This is the format that will guarantee that you meet all the scoring requirements from the word count up to the clarity of your opinion presentation. Your current presentation does not meet these requirements. This will be a failing test.