Discussing on the advantages and disadvantages of online computer games for chilren

Some people think that online computer games are useful for children, while other claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer games for children?

Online games are valuable by several people for children, while others think it is bad for them. It is believed that even though children can learn about new languages and knowledge on this game, the usually forgetting about their responsibility to study well in particular subjects.

It is generally known that with online computer games, children can broaden knowledge. It happens because online games have an unique ways for packaging their features and children playing this games can indirectly learn about new skills and abilities. Research from University of Queensland in 2010 found that 65% of children who often playing online games have showed a great understanding toward their lesson in school. Therefore, it is true that online games are useful for children to develop their knowledge.

On the other hand, the negative effect of online computer games is that children usually ignore their responsibility to study. They more often visit computer games centers because it is more interested for them rather than doing their homework. The impact from this activity is that they get a bad result in many subjects. The same research in 2010 by University of Queensland claimed that 75% of children who playing online computer games have a bad grade in schools. It is acceptable that online games make children leave their time for studying.

Overall, this essay is discussing about the advantages and disadvantages about online computer games for children. The benefit of this issue is that children can learn about new education, and the drawback is that children ignore their responsible as students.

Hi mem, here is some suggestions for you

It is generally known that withthrough online computer games...
... online games have ana unique ways for packaging their features ...
... 65% of children who are often playing online games ...

Overall, this essay is discussing about the advantages and disadvantages ...It is better to place this sentence in your introduction rather than inconclusion part

... children ignore their responsibleresponsibility as students.

Best regards

Hi, let me give several advice for you, perhaps useful for your essay.
1.Online games are valuable by ... ----> Several people believe that online games are valuable for children.
2.It is believed that even though children (...) on this game, they usually forgetting about ...
3.an unique ways -----> an unique way ( remember: an is article for singular)
4. You should be explain more clear about the benefits and the negative impacts