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Essay about discussing two views about protecting local culture and giving opinion

hthuhuong 1 / 2  
Apr 9, 2020   #1

Tourism vs local culture

Topic: Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Religonal culture makes a contribution to shaping the egotism and history of many countries and nationalities. Hence, saving culture is a responsibility of every citizens. In fact, some people believe that visitors should be forbade in some fields, conversely, others insist that this method is unavoidable and pointless. In the following paragraphs, I will consult points from both views. Personally, I am more likely to agree with the second one.

On the one hand, supporters of banning tourism often under dispute that religious, linguistic and socio-cultural is thought to have adverse effects by a variety of visitors. The intrusion of outsiders may disturb the local culture and create unrest among the people. The native resident totally can copy the lifestyle of the foreigners through the demonstration result so that trigger off the loss of native customs and traditions. Moreover, the building of facilities and infrastructre pose a threat to the environment, cultural heritages may be endangered. Thus, all this problem will directly bear relevance to not only local culture but also people as they feel that blocking such areas to traverlers is the easiest way to conserve local culture and tradition.

On the other hand, banning visitors will cause damage to the local budget. Tourism can bring economic benefits to host destinations from trave, related - services and provide regular employment for many local people. Futhermore, it helps to popularize cultural identities to foreign visitors, promote intercultural understanding and global harmony. If local culture is closed, regional companies must retire their employees so that the unemployment rate will increase. The negative economic consequences of banning tourism are worse than any cultural loss that may occur from the arrival of tourists.

In my view, I prefer the latter because it is not necessary to close tourist places just for saving it, the result of doing that will be profoundly devasting. The government should introduce laws to protect natural environments and local cultures.

I'm so thankful for all your comment.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,531 3447  
Apr 9, 2020   #2
Are you planning to take the computer based typing test in Ho Chi Min? If so, then you need to pay attention to the way that you spell words and the length of the essay that you will be writing. Although typing will be faster than handwriting, there is a greater chance that you will make spelling, punctuation, and other grammar related errors due to the ease with which you will be writing. Although you no longer have to keep track of your word count while typing as the computer offers you the word count as you type, you should still not go beyond the 290 words maximum suggestion for several reasons:

- It allows you a pocket of time to check for spelling errors (spellcheck is off in the computer at the testing center)
- You will have time to double check the relevance of your response to the prompt which remains on the screen
- You have the opportunity to adjust the presentation, format, and thought discrepancies within your presentation.

In your essay, I discovered several spelling errors which you missed because you neglected to proofread your work prior to finalizing it. People who type, with the expectation that word check will auto-correct the errors will be in for a surprise on testing day. The number of misspelled and uncorrected words will definitely drag down your LR score. Your mistakes in this essay include :

Religional = Regional
Infrastructre = Infrastructure
travelers = travellers
trave- travel
Futhermore = furthermore

Grammar issues includes the incorrect use of a noun when a verb is required: Regional cultures makes a contribution to... = ... Regional culture CONTRIBUTES to....

As I pointed out above, the clarity and cohesiveness of your work will be affected by the incorrect word references and spelling issues. Your second paragraph is actually misleading in content because your topic sentence is out of place. The actual topic sentence is the second sentence, the first one, does not really have a point unless you present the second sentence first. These are things that you need to focus on when reviewing your essay prior to the end of the time allowance.
OP hthuhuong 1 / 2  
Apr 9, 2020   #3
@Holt thank you so much for your advices. This is the first time I have written an IELTS essay so your comment is very necessary for me!

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