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IELTS Writing task 2 - Discussion - The effects of international tourism to local countries


beloyal 1 / -  
Mar 19, 2021   #1
Question:
Some people think that international tourism has bad impacts to local countries. Others believe this is a good trend.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



Answer:
Over the past few decades, global tourism has become an area of focus to the general public. A typical argument is that this trend can create adverse effects on local habitats while others advocate this tendency. This essay will initiate firstly in analyzing both sides of this matter and then manifest my individual perspective.

To commence with, it is undeniable that visitors coming from distinctive regions to a particular country for traveling can potentially generate drawbacks for indigenous residents. First, by paying a visit to tourist attractions, travelers may release various types of garbage which results in severe consequences for the environment. Equally important, the ease with which tourists carrying the cultural diversities were allowed to sacred locations namely shrines or temples makes it even more difficult for the native government to control tightly the conformity of their regulations in where worshiped the traditionally ancient deities. In the most renowned country of tourism, a variety of embarrassing performances were evidently caught the public attention and one of those is that the obligation about formal outfits in Thailand temples was taken for granted deliberately by the Western visitors.

On the contradistinction, the survey shared by a sustainable statistic of economic experts is that tourism especially international aspects is one of the most valuable sources bringing to the local nations considerable profits and financial investments. To illustrate, universal tourism contributed obviously ten percent of the total GDP of Vietnam's economy in the annual statistic provided by the ministry of economy and finance in 2019, before the initiation of Covid-19 pandemic. In my way of thinking, the global tourism has demimental influences certainly to the indigenous habitats when local government endervoured to exploit thoroughly the diversity and abundance of natural environment in order to accomplish a sheer number of profits. In essence, when the natural environment took a lot of critical damage from tourism and human unconcious activities, our habitats will be impacted inevitably by relevantly unprecedented catastrophes in terms of earthquakes, droughts, floods, etc.

In conclusion, international tourism affected seriously to the native nations albeit we cannot deny their obvious benefits. People should make a concrete effort to compensating for the injurious effects of tourism by various solutions in preserving traditional cultures and rehabilitating environmental damage.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 20, 2021   #2
Good work on the 2 restatement sentences. You covered the interpretation excellently. However, the need for the thesis statement is required. The thesis statement, one reason for each discussion + your opinion would have created a clear discussion path and personal opinion thesis for the presentation. Do not waste the word count with filler phrases like "To commence with" and "On the contradistinction". You get better scores by using a clear topic sentence in each paragraph as it shows a clear discussion path for the paragraph going forward. It allows the examiner to expect the discussion content with a clear reference to the original prompt discussion requirements.

I realize that you want to impress the examiner by using complicated English words such as "contradistinction". However, when the word you use is only impressive, but not really fitting in the presentation, then the LR score is affected negatively. You can use ordinary, everyday English words and still get an impressive LR score. The word you use has to sound natural. It needs to show that you are familiar with the English language. Not that you know how to use a thesaurus or a dictionary. Do not be out to impress, be out to score well. Simple word references are not a bad thing, specially in this type of test.


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