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IELTS TASK 2: discussion on getting married late or living alone in woman.

Lan Anhh 1 / 2  
Sep 3, 2017   #1
Topic: Nowadays, there is a trend that woman want to get married late or some even choose to live alone. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this trend.


Recently, woman doesn't want to get married early or some even decide to be a celibate is becoming more and more popular. There is no doubt that this trend has its own benefits and drawbacks.

It's obviously thatgetting married late or living alone has some advantages. First of all, woman can feel more comfortable, independent and focus on her career. This means she will not be tied up with family, relatives and children, so she can spend more time concentrating whole-heartedly on her occupation. Therefore, she will be in control of her finance and life. Another benefit is that the proportion of divorce as well as the evils of family violence will be decreased. The majority of the divorced is result from not understanding the partner and don't integrate with married life. If getting married late, woman will have more time to comprehend her companion and realize who is right man for her.

On the contrary, there are some disadvantages of this tendency. First and foremost, in Vietnam, the traditional customs still have a strong influence on the thinking of parents, so they will worry and create pressure on their daughter when she married late, which makes her faded and bored. For instance, my sister is 27 year-old and has steady job but not married, so her parents feel anxious and find a lot men to matchmaking for her regardless of her hostility. In addition, choosing celibacy will lead to the population reduction as well as gender imbalance. If a woman decides to live alone, the rate of marriage and childbearing will flop in significant way.

In conclusion, getting married late or choosing to live alone in woman has above positive and negative aspects. Hence, we should consider in each situation to make a right decision.

tran14 12 / 26 7  
Sep 3, 2017   #2
Hi, @Lan Anhh, I guess you have just started writing ielts essay recently, so you made some basic mistakes here:
1) Never you the short form of words like doesn't, don't, isn's, aren't. Instead, use does not, do not...
2) There are serious and obvious grammatical and vocabulary errors. It is a must that you have to fix these problems right away since they are the foundation of a good essay.

3) Your way of expressing ideas is still cumbersome. Remember that your job is not solely translating your opinion in Vietnamese into English, you have to write in a way that match the foreign language style.

4) I feel that your paraphrasing skill is not paid much attention to. If you do not change the words used in the topic in the beginning and at the end, your score will be lowered.

In general, you have good ideas, but your writing skill is not appropriate at all. Additionally, you have to study more carefully the structure od an ielts essay as well as the criterias people use to mark your work. Hope this will help you.
OP Lan Anhh 1 / 2  
Sep 3, 2017   #3
thank you, @tran14.
as you guess, I have just studied writing ielts recently and my vocabulary and grammar is not good.
I utterly appreciate your advice on what my mistakes and how I should do. It will help me a lot.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,932 2187  
Sep 3, 2017   #4
Lan, your attempt at writing an essay is admirable. Problem filled, but admirable just the same because your intent to make yourself fully understood is evident. Unfortunately, you English language skills are not yet at what we professionals call the "intermediate" stage. Your language grasp is "basic" at best and as such, creates problems for you when you write essays such as these. It would be best if you do not try to use complex sentences at this point. Just present basic discussions in order to make sure that your LR and GRA score will at least get a passing score.

You must focus your energies right now on learning to write the proper paraphrase of the original prompt. You need to make sure that you use only the keywords from the original prompt in order to direct the examiner to the fact that you understand what is required of you, but do not use so many words from the original that it almost sounds plagiarized as your current opening statement does. Please refer to my example as a guide:

The modern woman does not always get married early. Sometimes, she marries later in life or she opts for the single life. Each choice that the woman makes has its own advantages and disadvantages. This essay will examine a reason behind each trend.

I highlighted the keywords from the original essay that I used in relation to the topic, but presented in a different format. That is how you present a properly paraphrased statement that falls within the 3 sentence minimum requirement.

Try to develop only one reason per paragraph because you are scored on your ability to fully explain your line of reasoning instead of the number of reasons that you present. If you only present under explained sentences or reasons, your essay will not get a high score for the C&C portion as it relates to your ability to express yourself coherently in English.

It will also be better if you use information that is general in nature rather than specific to you home country. Unless, the relation to your home country is because the reason is based on a personal experience. Using a personal experience in explaining your reason shows a deeper ability to understand English and express yourself in the English language. When you use country specific information, you limit the line of reasoning that you can present and discuss.
OP Lan Anhh 1 / 2  
Sep 3, 2017   #5
Thank you for your advice, @Holt
I will improve and try not to make the same mistakes.

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