Writing: Discussion if imprisoning is the best or not

Topic :

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss.

Crimes has always been a remarkable problems occurring in almost countries for ages. Therefore many punishments has been invented in order to struggle with it, but it is believed that imprisonment is the best deterrence for criminals. In my opinion, I slightly oppose that because I think not all criminals need going to jail and I'll draw some evidence for my thought.

From what I have learnt, people have been fighting for their freedom for many years. So the primary reason is when cops imprison them mean they are taking liberty from them, to me this is a very heavy punishment to a living human. Hence, this kind of deterrence should only be applied on those who are actually deserve it such as: gangsters, robbers...With those who just commit a petty offence only need to be deterred slightly. For example, a man behave badly in public place like fighting or talking egregiously about a sensitive topic doesn't need going to jails but can be fined or executed a curfew order in his house for a few days.

Secondly, if government applies imprisonment on a villains who have committed a serious case, it won't be fair for the victims and may cause fear in the residences when the villains get out of jail. In particularly, a serial killer be sentenced and move to prison will obviously lead to protests or rebellions, unless those have to pay equitably rather than be locked away.

However, few of them just get in to criminal way because they have to do it for a living. Therefore if there is a chance, we should give to them, being a few years in prison would change them substantially and as a consequence, they become a better person.

In conclusion, prison is a good and efficient deterrence but it's not the only one. Henceforth before sentencing a specific criminal we should consider if it is petty or inferior to give out the appropriate punishment.

Hello, it can be clearly observed that there are some basic errors existing in your essay.
- First line: a remarkable problems ? => problem
many punishments has been ? => ...have been
-you should have one topic sentence for your each body paragraph.
- Your ideas are not clear enough, i think so.
....

Please provide the prompt for the essay next time so that a clearer review of your essay can be done from a professional standpoint. Right now, I am not really sure what the discussion topic for your essay is because there are several criminal topics that can be discussed based on a similar central subject. The main difficulty with the extent essay is how to explain the degree of your agreement or disagreement with the given prompt. Students tend to always say "I slightly" or "I partially", thinking that if they take a completely supportive side in the essay, they will be given a lesser score. There are no right or wrong answers in the Task 2 essay. There is only a lower score for not having a clear point of view in the essay. Each time the student chooses the "I partly" or "I slightly" position in the essay, that indicates an indecision in your thought presentation and opinion.

The clarity of your thought, the coherence of your reasoning paragraphs, and the cohesiveness of your reasoning presentation can only come from the clarity of a thought process that focuses on a single opinion. The equivalent of "I slightly" or "I partially" in real world responses would be "I both agree and disagree". Which is not one of the choices given in the question instruction. That is why it is more important to show a clear singular point of view rather than a comparative point of view. The extent essay is not a comparative essay. It allows you show a degree of support only within one point of view.

For example. You could say, "It is said that... I have to oppose it because...It is important to understand that though there is a belief that... the truth of the matter is..." The strength of your opinion should be in how it disproves the opposite point of view. By presenting a topic sentence that opposes your point of view, you not only present a clearer explanation of the side that you support, but you are also able to strengthen the extent of your dis/agreement with the given public opinion.

Do not use special characters such as ellipses in your academic writing. Those are more useful in creative writing instances where it can indicate a suggested thought process. An academic paper, or opinion paper should always use proper and formal punctuation marks.