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IELTS. X Disease Cases in Someland (1960-1995)


Misnariah Idrus 19 / 35 4  
May 7, 2014   #1
The line graph illustrates the change number regarding the cases of X disease occurring over 35 years in Someland from 1960 to 1995.

As an overall trend, some periods over those years experienced stable at case numbers while other showed either increase or decrease.

A more detailed look at the graph shows X disease attacked 100 humans between 1960 and 1965, then this number doubled in the following five years. A worse situation happened during a half decade after the end of this particular period, in 1970, as X boomed by 300 cases. However, this number did not undergo a change until 1980.

Following this, fortunately, the condition was getting significantly better in the following period. In 1985, this illness case number declining to 350, indicated the situation was almost 30 percent better than before. A tremendously great fact happened between 1990 and 1995 when X eradicated totally in this city.




Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 7, 2014   #2
The line graph illustrates the change number regarding the number of cases of X disease occurringreported over 35 years in Someland from 1960 to 1995.

As an overall trendOverall, some periods over those years experienced stable at case numbers while other showed either increase or decrease.
Well, this is what I suggest;
Overall, the number of cases had a gradual increment between 1965 to 1980 and thereafter it had experienced a steady decline up to zero level by the end of the period.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 8, 2014   #3
Your writing is good. Pahan has shown you what to work. A few edits :
A more detailed look at tT he graph shows X disease attacked 100 humansliving creatures between 1960 and 1965, then this number doubled in the followingincidence had risen by about 100% five years. A worse situation happened during a half decade after the end of this particular period, in 1970 , as X boomed bySince the early 1970s, the high incidence of X disease has continued to climb up 300 cases. However, this numberincidence of X disease did not undergo a sweeping change until 1980over the period in question .

Following this, fortunately, the condition was getting significantly better in the following period. In 1985, this illness case number declining to 350, indicated the situation was almost 30 percent better than before. A tremendously great fact happened between 1990 and 1995 when X eradicated totally in this city.

This too needs redoing.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 9, 2014   #4
Single graphs
Introduction: Here you sould state what the graph shows
short body paragraph: state the most improtant piece of information here (summary/overview)
main body paragraphs: Here you need to make comparisons and state the important features of the graphs (usually 2 paragraphs)

Double graphs
Introduction: Write one sentence, but introduce each chart separately e.g "This first bart chart shows..., and the second chart illustrates

Short body:
Write 2 sentences. If the information in the charts is not connected, find one main point or general trend for each chart. If the charts are connected, try to make comparisons

Main body paragprahs: If the two charts are completely different (e.g. a graph and a table), write a separate paragraph about each.
If the charts are the same, and show the same information (e.g. 2 pie charts), do not describe them separately, the examiner will want to see comparisons.

In this case, you could write one paragraph describing all of the information, but it is still more preferable to write two paragraphs because it makes the essay look more organized


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