Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS :Distance-learning cannot bring the benefits that traditional colleges offer; Agree?


anselzhang 4 / 4  
Mar 4, 2014   #1
Topic:
Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post,TV,internet...)to study at home. But some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. Do you agree or disagree?

My essay

With the tremendous development in information technology, long-distance education enables people to study at home without going to school. Whether this teaching approach is more beneficial to pupils than the traditional way sparks off a heated debate. From my perspective, I agree with the view that students can acquire more benefits from the remote education.

To begin with, studying at home save the pupils enormous time and considerable expense. Students who use distance-learning programs can cut down their commuting time, tuition fees, textbook fees and so forth just by an internet connection. This especially makes a significant difference for the children who live in the far-off countryside and the children whose families are living below the poverty-line.

Besides that, long-distance education provides students the opportunity to access the immense knowledge resources and a variety of teaching approaches. Pupils can obtain materials for their curricula just by one mouse click, such as science reports, study posts, documentary records, etc. A student can even select a specific online course based on his own preference and time schedule so he can control the learning progress and make satisfactory achievement on this course.

It is undeniable that traditional education has its advantages in face-to-face communication, mental inspiration and physical educations. These make remarkable contributions in providing immediate feedbacks and cultivating pupils' personalities. But with the improvements in streaming and sensor technologies, remote education can eliminate the obstacles of distance and body contacts.

In conclusion, I concede that traditional education has some merits like feedbacks and inspirations that cannot be replaced in the near future. However, distance-learning outweighs the conventional way not only with its efficiency, convenience and economic value, but also with the self-regulated education that pupils can study on their own purpose.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 5, 2014   #2
First, I want to request you to include a more meaningful title for your essay (this has been attended by us). Do it in the subject field when you are opening a fresh thread. It is a forum rule and also helps you earn more feedbacks.

With the tremendous development in information technology, long-distance education enables people to study at home without going to school.

Excellent hook :)

With the tremendous development in information technology, long-distance education enables people to study at home without going to school. Whether this teaching approach is more beneficial to pupils than the traditional way sparks off a heated debate. From my perspective, I agree with the view that students can acquire more benefits from the remote education.

Very impressive writing. However, your prompt poses the other side of the argument that distant learning lacks certain benefits. So, it is better to state your opinion to say that you disagree with that view. :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 25, 2014   #3
and so forth

, etc

This indicates you don't care enough to finish a sentence properly.
You don't need to use lazy language expressions (eg 'etc', or and so forth') They are are used more in spoken language.

distance-learning

the hyphen, incorrectly used.

Overall, I enjoy your writing, very impressive.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS :Distance-learning cannot bring the benefits that traditional colleges offer; Agree?