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IELTS task 1 Distribution of water

twinkle_star 2 / 5 3  
Sep 7, 2020   #1
Hey every one this is my first contribution to this forum. Excited to found this place.

Summarize information from the charts

The six given pie charts illustrate how water is used in six different continents of the world. It is mainly used for industrial, agricultural and domestic purposes.

Overall, the charts show that agriculture is the biggest consumer of the water in four out of six regions, whereas in the rest of the areas namely North America and Europe, industrial sectors consume the largest quantity of water out of all three uses.

Moving to Africa, Central Asia and Southeast Asia, where it shows that 84%, 88% and 81% of the water is utilized for agriculture reasons respectively, whereas the proportion of water used for domestic reasons is quite similar in all three areas which is between 7% to 9%. In South America, however, only 19% of all water is consumed in houses, while the top user still remains agriculture with 71%.

Interestingly, in Europe and North America almost half of the water is used for industrial purposes and a third of the water goes for the crops production. In both these parts of the world less than a fifth of the water is utilized in domestic use.

Word count:186

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,654 3484  
Sep 8, 2020   #2
In the trending statement, it would be better if you do not mention any countries in the latter part if you did not mention any in the earlier part. Rather, use the same fraction reference for both parts of the trending statement. That way the reader is not confused and you show a uniformity in your writing style for that paragraph. Of all of your paragraphs, that one is the least clear in terms of presentation information.

In terms of sentence structure, you should be looking to show a greater GRA skill. The sentences are mostly run-on because they are just long sentences that tend to confuse the reader. The confusion comes to too much information being packed into every sentence. It makes it difficult for the reader to follow. Divide the ideas into individual sentences. That will help you keep the presentation clear within every sentence.
OP twinkle_star 2 / 5 3  
Sep 8, 2020   #3
Thanks Holt i am going to rewrite it with your suggestions in mind. I will more look into different types of complex structures as well. I need to score 7 and i think my writing is not showing range of grammar.
tuanhntta2020 4 / 9 1  
Sep 11, 2020   #4
I believe that you should try to write more complex sentence and use words used for describing pie charts in Task 1 like 'account for', "make up for".etc...

And I found your essay quite difficult to keep track. In this essay. I think that you should divide the essay by use of water, not by countries.Like how is the amount of water used for argiculture differs in different areas, something like that

English is not my mother tongue so I find it is very hard to express my idea. However,I hope this helps
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Sep 15, 2020   #5
I can't proved advice as detailed as Holt's, but I'd love to rewrite a sentence for you. I hope it's helpful, especially if you want to create a more sophisticated sentence.

"Overall, the charts show that agriculture...North America and Europe,"
=> Overall, most of water is committed for use in agricultural production in all the regions given except North America and Europe, where the industurial sector is the biggest water consumer.

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