Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

( IELTS essay) Doing jobs for a long spell ; Good or bad..?


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 25, 2013   #1
Some people work only a few months a year and take the rest of the time off to do whatever they like. To what extent the advantages of this arrangement over weigh the disadvantage.

The trends in the way of doing jobs are continuously undergoing changes nowadays. Some people prefer to work short period and taking rest in the remaining time. However, the advantages of this trend depend up on the type of the job and the perception of the people who choose it, as it has both benefits and drawbacks.

To begin with, working for a short period of time and taking off has a great favor of flexibility in some conditions. It gives minimum risk of exposure to the adverse conditions of the workplace while offering job security. For instance, if somebody is working in Antarctica, fighting with extreme cold, the choice of short period of work is a blessing for him. He can perform his job with perfection in the assigned period and the remaining period, he can move on to other places with better climatic conditions and enjoy life with his dear and near ones. Another point is that, if he is doing a very high salary job with extended hours, away from the family, this option will be favorable for them. They can limit their sufferings for a limited period; they can earn the livelihood, which is sufficient for the remaining months of the year together with constant job after a long gap. This will keep them relaxed and can maintain a healthy life style with high living standards.

On the other hand, the down side of it should not be neglected. People may become lazy as they took long gap. Since, many changes are taking place in each field, they may feel difficult to adapt with the new atmosphere and trim down their efficiency. Besides, if they find some other interesting jobs, or the company of friends, they may think it is better to stop the job. Most importantly, if they face financial problems, their living standards may reduce. The firm also suffers as the employee lost his proficiency in his task. It affects the productivity and profits of companies.

In short, a job with long gap has its own advantages and disadvantages. Since changes are inevitable in every field, let the people to make their own choice according to their perception, salary and so on, which decides the overweigh of advantages and disadvantages.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 25, 2013   #2
However, the advantages of this trend depend up on the type of the job and the perception of the people who choose it, as it has both benefits and drawbacks .

.... you start this sentence with talking about advantages and end with both benefits and drawbacks. I guess it reads better if you remove the later part of this sentence.

To begin with, working for a short period of time and taking off has a great favor of flexibility in some conditions.

To begin with, working for a short period of time has a great advantage in terms of flexibility.

On the other hand, the down side of it should not be neglected.

On the other hand, the negative side of this trend also should not be neglected.
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 25, 2013   #3
he is doing a very high salary job --> working is better vocabulary -->he is working in high salary job

they may think it is better to stop the job. --> it is not clear whether they are not working properly or they are resigning the job --> they may think it is better to resign the job


Home / Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Doing jobs for a long spell ; Good or bad..?