Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Fashion, in fact, touches the working world. Some people argue that workers should dress quite smartly although others have different perspectives that quality of a job is the most essential after all and should be highly regarded. Among the two perspectives, I believe that the workers should highly regard the quality of job so that they demonstrate great performance.
A dress is needed by the workers to cultivate their performance. The workers which dress smartly will seem more attractive and elegant so that their clients feel more comfortable. After that, the workers will be more self-assured to meet the clients when they dress smartly. Not only this, the workers who always get dressed smartly will present a professional of the company because the client will place a great belief of professionalism to the company. These three reasons will affect the performance of the workers if they can execute consistently.
Although the workers dress smartly, they will not render a profit to their company if the workers do not work professionally and do not regard the quality of the job. In the beginning, the clients will attract to consult something such as asking about a product or a service because the workers which dress smartly seem more attractive. After that, the clients will be disappointed when they do not find service professionally. In addition, a recent study at French by ESMOD International University found that employees do not raise good performances of a company since they highly regard the quality values of work although they are more confident when dress smartly.
In conclusion, the workers that dress smartly will seem more attractive. However, the workers do not accelerate the performance if they do not follow the company's regulation well. On one hand, the workers should also improve their ability to give the best performance.
Mind your linking words as some are not at the right places. Also, don't use common ones like
because of . There are several altenatives: since, as, by dint of, owing/due to,... Search for more
Try to make clear expressions instead of lengthy ones by connecting devices
You also repeat the worker, highly regard, professionally, ... Find more synonyms at thesaurus.com
Overall, I think the biggest problem is your lexical resource and expressions.
Hope these might help you